Sudden panic

Hi all,

well here I am back again trying to work out whats going on. I had my 3rd MRI on Monday, (thanks to Karen's kind words) and following the neuro thinking I had ADEM.

I have had problems with my neck recently and pains in my back. I am finding that I make a lot of mistakes when typing and tried last night to post but gave up.

On Monday they did my neck and brain but not my spine despite being positive for og banding. I know that I should have the results of the latest MRI within a month. I suddenly feel quite panic stricken. I don't know why as I 've lived with this for a year now.

My little girl asked me if they fixed my brain when they took the photo on Monday, that just made me cry. I know I need to pull myself together but feel really low since Monday.  I have remained positive through all this and just can't seem to pick myself up. I don't know why Monday has affected me like this.

Anyway its good just to spill out my feeelings, don't want to worry my husband.


Hi Chis

It sounds like the whole process of diagnosis has hit you. It is long, arduous and upsetting. Don’t worry that you are feeling low, it’s perfectly understandable! My little boy said to me the other day ‘I don’t want you to have MS Mummy’. These things are heartbreaking I know.

Hopefully things will get easier, perhaps it would be worth chatting to your GP or even asking to be referred for counselling. Sometimes it can be too big a burden to carry on your own.

Hope you start to feel better soon,

Teresa xx



If one of my two had asked me "if they fixed my brain when they took the photo on Monday" in those early years, I would have gone to pieces too letdown


As the others have said, you are going through a very tough time. Trying to stay positive may be good in some ways, but it also means that you are bottling up all the negative thoughts. For most of us at least, it doesn't take very much for the sadness and fear to break through that positive front. They have to be faced at some point though - (as anon said) so you can move on.


Talking to someone that you can't scare or upset can be a huge relief. Maybe your GP? Or ideally a counsellor familiar with MS?


This site is a godsend because we understand, but there is nothing quite as good as face-to-face (preferably with a great big ((HUG))) talking. I bet your husband is also putting on a positive front and bottling up loads of stuff. Why not try and talk to each other?


Fingers crossed for you that the results come in very quickly.

Karen x




Thank you Karen, Teresa and anon,

I think you are right about things just hitting me, I need to pick myself up or I'm no good to anyone. My dads life was ruined because of his mums ms and I don't want my kids to suffer.

If 85,000 people have ms in the uk why the hell is it so difficult to dx and live with this black cloud hanging over us.

I'm going to have a shower and clear up my puffy face before school pick up time and try to just get on with things. Gp has offered me anti depressants but I don't want to fill in the stupid questionnaire, or at least fill it in honestly. so I have declined them.

Thank you for all your support, I'd be lost without it,

Chis x