Hi. This is my first post. I’m waiting to go back to neurologist on 18th feb following an MRI scan. I had a letter from hospital saying they found “changes in keeping with inflammatory white matter disease and the differential diagnosis includes ms.” Not sure what this means but am assuming it can’t be good. From reading other posts in the forum I think I’m at the start of a long road towards a diagnosis. Feeling really low at the moment. I split from my husband of 20 years before Xmas, 3 weeks after the hospital letter dropped on the mat. He was very supportive right up until it was confirmed that there was a problem but then it was as though if we didn’t talk about it we could carry on as normal. Now I can’t talk to the one person I thought I could rely on and I don’t have much family or friends. I have a 15 year old son who doesn’t know about the possible ms yet so I’m trying to hold it together for him but its so tough as i feel so tired a lot of the time and also have the worry of what’s going to happen financially when we divorce. I wouldn’t normally reach out to people like this but everyone seems so supportive on the forum. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in feeling petrified of what the future holds and that others can take time out from their own problems to help others in similar positions.
((Andrewsmum)) I am so sorry to hear how low you are feeling. It sounds like you have had a lot to cope with over the last couple of months. This forum is a good support and you just need to reach out and let us know how we can support you. It’s a difficult period, and it’s hard to know what advice to give you except try not to worry too much just now. Once you have seen the neuro and you have some understanding of what is happening, you can have a bit more clarity. For now, be kind to yourself, try not to focus too much on the future, and - if you can - get in touch with a friend - even if you feel that you can’t talk to them about this it’s amazing how much better you can feel after a chat about other stuff…
Thanks for the quick reply. It’s so hard to know where to turn at the moment. I do talk to friends and feel better for a while afterwards but I feel so lost without the support of my husband. I feel like if I talk too much about the split and ms to people then they become bored like “here we go again” My friends have been really good but as other people have said, because there are no outward symptoms for me at the moment (or what there are I’m really good at covering up) then I must be ok. I feel such a failure for not being able to cope and am so fed up of putting on a brave face when all I want to do is burst into tears. I’m just a natural born worrier always have been. On one hand I can’t wait for my appointment but am dreading it too because then its all going to be real and I’ve got to start dealing with it. It took so long for me to admit I had a problem because if you don’t do anything about it you can fool yourself into thinking its not there. I guess I’m just going to hav to try to take things one day at a time. Thanks again for the support.