Hi…when I was fit and well felt I was indispensable to my family…childminding a lot…financial support…emotional support…giving a lot of time and energy.Now that I have MS(Bout 10yrs now) have a 5 year old and cud do with some help I realise I am dispensable…e.g. Brother saying to me if you want my children to look after your daughter pay them( they r now teenagers)…no free babysitting(obviously I wud give them something but not if told to)…my daughter at a 'family get together coming up to me and asking me to pay x tobabysit her as no one allowed to play with her anymore(they r all teenagers now and afraid of dad…a parents separated etc)…moaning really but cannot believe that family behaving like this. AI have 3 brothers…elderly parents(who wud help if they did)…wonder what I have done…am heartbroken…appease advise me
Hi Rose, I know what you are going through families can be awful at times I also have 3 brothers twins 12 yrs older and 1 8 years older I was told by my eldest brother my parents only had me so they would have someone to look after them when they got old that was when I was getting married than I moved to the north of england about 140 miles away and was told now I was no use to anyone not to phone him again he would let me know when he wanted anything from me that was 23 yrs ago. When my Dad was terminally ill this brother lived 7 miles away and only gave Dad grief over what he wanted to inherit. I travelled and looked after Dad for a week so my other brothers could have a rest they lived at opposite ends of the country. I used to babysit his kids for free take them out even take them and his wife on holidays as he was working and when my daughter was small I had to pay him for any outgrown clothes or toys that were sent for my daughter ( most were well worn or broken)
What I am trying to say is you can’t choose your family but you can choose friends plus I have learnt that no matter what you may have done for your family in the past you are very unlikely to get it repaid in kind. As for not allowing the other children to play with your 5 year old that is awful to do that to a 5 year old just shows how low a person he is. You are justified to feel as you do and I think your brothers should be ashamed.It isn’t any thing you have done wrong and IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
My parents are both daed and at Dad’s funeral this brother didn’t even speak to me but that was no loss for me at all he is a jerk and it will come up to bit his arse at some time. Trying to send you help and support hang on in there Rose and I am sorry you feel so let down, Best wishes Sue
Thank u Sue…maddening but as you well know it hurts knowing that you have being taken as a mug
I agree it hurts most when you are let down by those you thought would be there for you aren’t especially if you have been there for them in the past., it has been an eye opener for me and I am sure it has been for you. Take care nd you can always vent on here someone nearly always ahs has a simular axperience Best wishes Sue