yesterday I phoned up and requested the information regarding PIP after being advised to do so in my monthly tysabri infusion group.
well stress overload. I feel like a criminal! I feel like I’m going to go to prison for benefit fraud!
as far I as see it I’m normal. Pain is normal. My arm not working is normal. Not being able to get up without aid is normal, bladder issues is normal. Needing help with two handed jobs(cutting stuf!) sometimes is normal. Only having vision from one eye is normal. Not being able to roll over is normal. Collapsing if I spend too long in the shower and not being able to have baths anymore due to almost blackouts and getting stuck in baths is normal.
Iv coped with all these things for so many years before I was actually diagnosed I honestly thought a lot of this stuff was normal. I just made up excuses like, I lifted something heavy today, my bath was too hot, I must of been leaning on my arm funny, I have a smaller than average bladder, etc etc
so all afternoon yesterday I felt like a fraud for some reason about applying for pip. I got so worked up about it the fatigue kicked in big time. By bedtime both legs were in full cramp mode and my arm was completely dead. I was going over and over in my head telling myself it’s not normal and why shouldn’t I apply. But then there are worse than me and they deserve it. I desperately want to be normal and am pushing myself to carry on as normal like everyone else but I’m starting to feel it’s taking its toll. I’m worried people think I’m lazy.
anyway, I sat up till 1am in pain trying to chill out and not get so stressed. Then my little Douglas berry came to the rescue, he came and snuggled up on my chest and started to purr. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. That furry little Ginger Ninja pussy cat is like a little miracle cat and all my worries go away when he comes for a cuddle.
Sorry for that, feel I needed to unload, as much as Douglas helped calm me, I think my sanity would be questioned if I went into conversation about all this with him!
how do you cope with stress?