Hi all. I either want advice or just a good old rant, I’m not sure which. I applied for PIP last August after a really bad relapse that kept me off work for 5 months. I went into mortgage arrears and was in a really bad way. I went through the interview process and was told I was entitled to nothing. I asked for mandatory consideration and still nothing. I’m going through the appeal process at the moment. I’ve had the bundle from the DWP. Their main argument for refusal is that I’m just a malingerer and that there is nothing wrong with me. Apparently I can’t be that bad because I work. They seem to have missed the fact that i AM this bad because I work. It takes up all my energy. I feel so shot when I’m finished that I don’t look after my home or myself. I’m too drained to cook, clean, bathe myself sufficiently. I get awful nerve pain. I basically have nothing left. I have to work though because I have a mortgage to pay. My house is in such a state that even if I did have the energy to receive guests, I’d be too ashamed to let people in.
Anyway, I’m going through the appeals process and my first meeting with welfare rights is on Monday. I’m scared. When I met the woman from citizens advice she said I would “definitely” get it on appeal. I feel like that has been the commentators curse and that I’ll get turned down again. I don’t know what I’ll do if that happens. I don’t want the money to have loads of foreign holidays and some luxury lifestyle. I want the money so I can consider dropping hours at work and maybe get a cleaner to help me round the house. I don’t know what to do or what to say. This time last year I was genuinely considering suicide because I can’t see a way out of the mess that is my life.
I know know a few people who have got PIP and it seems to have been a simple process for them. Perhaps it’s because they are all unemployed housewives who have husbands who are carers. I feel their health is no better or worse that mine. I work because I have to or I’ll lose everything. It’s killing me. Since my diagnosis 7 years ago I’ve had 506 MS related sick days. To paraphrase Stevie Smith - I’m not waving. I’m drowning.