My husband is in a continuous pattern every 5 to 6 weeks of intimating he intends to take his own life. He posts on fb freely staying his reasons for no longer wishing to live. He’s had countless attempts and professional intervention, including being sectioned last July.
We seem to go on a complete loop of behaviour. He won’t engage with professional support, agrees to various support groups only to go once or twice and finds reasons it’s not suitable. He’s always been difficult and its been ‘his way or the highway’ attitude towards anyone who suggests different or dare i say disagrees.
Ive just retired, compleyely finishing on 31st August, as it feels he’s not safe to be left at home, as does v odd things, frequently stops what he’s determined to be speeding traffic outside of our home arguing with motorists aggressively and has come close to physical contact.
Today posts on fb about being a coward otherwise would take his own life as is in pain, mental and physical. Friends have all commented. I’ve now taken the post down as is massively upsetting to not only our children but me also, along with numerous concerned friends.
Was diagnosed 15years ago SPMS but history indicates prob had since around the age of 20, buf completely bullued himself. Was immediately retired from his workplace on 75%salary until age 65 - last year. Had a year without income but savings and my income allowed all the bills and life to continue.
Is there any hope?
I’ve told him it’s a sentence for me too. I’ve always supported him, 42years of marriage. I’ve continued to work full-time until last couple of years then 4days since then. I care and do everything in the home and manage his numerous medical appointments, as he wont take care of himself and drinks too much alcohol resulting in UTI’s. He basically plays in his workshop or sirss looking at social media for hours on end. Can’t take responsibility for anything
Has probably got a UTI now, but if i dare suggest he does a sample will say im ridiculous and it’s just MS!
I feel helpless and trapped.
Our adult children have on numerous occasions encouraged me to separate from him as he appears to have no regard for my wellbeing, emotional or physical health.
I feel I have an entitlement to enjoy my retirement, I’m 63 and have worked all my adult life and raised 3 sons almost as if a single parent as he worked overseas for long periods.
I know he misses this part of his life. But it’s about acceptance and after 15 years id seriously hoped he would have come to terms with the change.
We have a comfortable home, mortgage free. An amazing family all living within 10miles, who we frequently see. 7 beautiful grandsons.
At 66 years old i thought that would be enough.
Psychiatrist says he has frontal lobe damage, causing cognitive difficulties, memory and lack of insight.
But i feel overwhelming responsible for his wellbeing at the detriment of my own. Just feels unfair and there really is no help, despite what all the services tell you, as he won’t take it even when i arrange and organise. Having spent numerous hours researching local activities and making contact, visiting to see if appropriate before even trying to gry him to it. I kniw done will say im doing too much and taking his independence away, but he has no capacity to initiate anything and needs encouragement to do pretty much everything.
So sorry about the ramble, but it all feels so shit and basically so unnecessary when i know millions of people would give their eye teeth for his situation.