Seasonal vulgarity

Onions and Christmas Trees

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs. In her 20s, a woman’s are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”


“Yes, you see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mum, how many kinds of “willies” are there?”
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20’s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?” “Yes. The tree is dead, and the balls are just for decoration.”


did u keep that from last years cracker?!

I like it :slight_smile:

Made me laugh out loud (age 42). Hubby (age 46) just about managed to squeeze a chuckle too! Thanks!

Aw, that is so funny! Thanks for sharing…may have to share that on FB!!

Made me giggle - hate to think what fruit/veg mine would be at 65 - maybe squashed grapes!! x

That gave me a good laugh ta

Fantastic - reminds me back in the summer my friend had a lovely strappy top on without a bra underneath. I said I envied her being able to do it because if I tried I would get sore knees. She didn’t get it!


Have just sent it to my family in NewZealand. Samoa,Australia and US.

Nice one,


As Dick Emery would say - Ohh, you are awful but I like you


Brilliant! A joke that offends everyone in equal measure . I shall have to nick that …

Tracey x