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Recently diagnosed and constantly seeing red

Hi I’ve just been diagnosed in the last week, I thought I took the news quite well but the last few days I’ve just constantly seen red and losing my temper constantly

would anyone recommend me doing anything to calm myself down, before I lose my temper with the wrong person

Yes. Shout and scream and wail. Gnash your teeth if you know how. Let it all come out. If you have a good friend who you can really let rip at, then agree with them that you need to let all that fury out. And tell them truthfully how it feels.

If you don’t, then write it down. Or just turn up some loud music (in case neighbours think you’ve gone bananas) and scream and shout alone.

Being diagnosed with MS is utter crap. And sometimes you have to let that out. Only then can you begin to move in with life.

And if anyone tells you ‘it could be worse’ or ‘at least now you can get some decent drugs’ or ‘it’s not a death sentence’ or any other positive nonsense designed to cheer you up, but that actually makes you even more furiously angry, try telling them: ‘Thanks, but right now I’m sticking with anger, maybe next week (or month, or year), I’ll be ready for positivity!’

If all else fails, come in here and tell us. We’ll listen, some people still might try to cheer you up with some rational positive message, but just bear with that, ignore it as much as you can.

Sue

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Hugs

Denial. Anger. Acceptance. I suppose.

Fay

Only one week. You’ve got a lot of stages to go through yet. And you will, over time and in no particular order. Two year on from my diagnosis…denial, fear, self pity, buckets of tears that still catch me out sometimes, anger, then REAL anger some more, then some kind of acceptance. I say some kind of, because I’m not sure I’ll ever accept. Resigned might be a better description.

Just take it one day at a time.

From my own experience a diagnosis means nothing.

Basically, I was diagnosed with RRMS Feb 2016.

Nov 2016 it was changed to PPMS.

Now they have changed their minds again. They`re not sure. I had another MRI scan 1st July 2017.

I`ve had the results back. There are no abnormalities in Cervical Spine and the MRI of the head showed no new changes.

I dont know what that means but I m seeing the Neurologist 26th July 2017.

I have lots of questions for him.

There are different ways to deal with being diagnosed…probably as many ways as there are people who get the diagnosis.

Some might think they`ve dealt with it, but somehow find they havent dealt with it as well as they initially thought.

You could be in the latter group…but after a week? I doubt it chuck.

But remember, however you do fit it into your life and do your best to work with it, there is always a chance that you could suddenly feel differently…be that in a good way or a bad way…whatever, however…dont expect to follow any rules…there arent any…go with how you`are feeling a second at a time, an hour, a day, a month…as I said, whatever.

We dont fit into a set configuration. We are people, human and as fickle as the weather!

Okay, so you`re asking for ideas on how to deal with your temper…yeh, have a scream, a blow out, chuck darts at a wall, it doesnt matter how you do it, as long as keep safe.

I`ve been disabled nigh on 20 years and I still have incredible changes of mood about how I feel about the whole shebang.

Somedays it aint so bad, others I want stay under my duvet and not face another struggle, a difficulty, another please and thankyou cos I cant chuffin do summat meself.

It`s a swine, really it is, but we cant give the bolxxcking basxxxrd back!

There, has that helped at all?

pollsx

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‘Don’t ask yourself to be ok !’ as our fellow-poster, Sarah Smith, said to another newly dx person elsewhere on these boards. Her comment made me smile because it is so completely right.

You have had some very bad news indeed, and your unconscious knows better than you do when you need to let rip for the good of your health. Everybody needs a safely valve, and it sounds as though you are finding out when yours kicks automatically, whether you like it or not.

Cut yourself some slack here. If you can face the idea of weeping and raving about your MS dx to a trusted person who can cope with seeing you in distress, that might give those difficult emotions another route out. But maybe that just isn’t possible right now: you wouldn’t be the first to feel that it is just really important to ‘cope well’ as you put it - i.e. quietly and without drama. I was very much that way inclined myself, so I do sympathise. Whatever you need to keep your show on the road emotionally right now is what you will find yourself doing anyway, so just try not to stress about it too much.

My advice on the practical point you asked about? Lay in a few little boxes of chocolates and cards suitable for graceful notes to say sorry when you have got cross and offended people you have lost the rag with.

Don’t buy too many boxes, though: this turmoil of hard-to-manage emotions won’t last forever.

Alison

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And if you find that you don’t actually offend anyone badly enough, you can always eat the ‘little boxes of chocolates’ yourself.

Sue

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Hi Aaron

Yes, you definitely have to do something about it. But it has to be a controlled release of the anger. Some use hard physical exercise, or a long walk. Playing a musical instrument or meditation helps other personality types.

What ever way you choose is good as long as you are channelling the negative emotions. The worst things you can do is take it out on your family or bottle it up, as unreleased anger can turn into depression.

Regards,

Anthony

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sue alison and ad have said brill things-u will find your way!

ellie