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Pregnancy Advise ,please

Dear,

Sorry in advance for the long post.

I am thinking to interrupt the treatment (I am currently on Rebif) to try to have a baby, i have an appointment with my doctor on Tue to discuss about it. I don’t have children and I spent the last year pondendering prons & cons.

I have read everything possible about MS -pregnancy-motherhood, so I have some understanding at least of some of the important bits,but i cannot deny I am totally freacking out.

I think main reason is because despite several doctors appointments I don’t still understand how well I am doing, I know it might sound crazy, but I have experienced lots of mild events (mainly sensory simptoms) in the past year and everytime even the doctor is not 100% sure if classified them as new relapse. My worry is that a pregnancy will put my body under lot of stress and this will trigger something. I know pregnacy should protect from new relapses, but the time afterwards it loos like the crucial one.

We have no family around who may help in case of need, so despite wanting a baby I am just scare that I’ll not be able to coop.

We live in London, which make everything more difficult give the distances and the living costs.

So, If you could provide any advise tips or some experience to share would be much appreciate.

Thanks

MTA

I’m sure your doctor will be able to give you good medical advice about how pregnancy will affect you, but I’d also underline the significance of mental/emotional strength. I’d want a good solid (…and big !!) support network in place in case there are times when help is needed (…and there may be a few such times during pregnancy and your baby’s first years!!) …times when you need rest/support etc.

But then, what do I know as a childless bloke !!!

Dom

(…sorry guys, but this message board is possibly the worst I’ve ever used - so many ‘normal’ facilities missing )

I think getting back in treatment after having a baby is important with some of the posts. I didn’t know I had ms had a baby in April mild relapse may then a bit one in June. My right side stopped working. But I’d just left my husband so they said it was stress. Then another big on in November that led to dx. I was lucky I had my parents my baby lived with them till 3 weeks ago but they are just round the corner. I know this will prob not be much help. But I really could have had willow back before then my 5 yr old still lived with me. One thing I would say is build a good relationship with your health visitor. I know they get a lot of bad press but mine have been brilliant. I wA lucky my mum was close but If she hadn’t been they offered me various forms of help. There was a Crèche which was solely for the use of people who needed help had illness etc. You can put them in for hospital appointments or just to give me a break. And various other schemes. I was lucky I didn’t need it but there are these options available. Hopefully you will have a living partner who will pitch in and give you a hand when he’s home for work. And there a good chance ur ms continues to be mild. There nothing to suggest it won’t. Hope everything goes great. Doesn’t matter how sore I get you always manage and rewarded with a smile and a cuddle xxx

I’ve taken the very difficult decision not to have any children. I have absolutely no support network where I live (down South and all my family are up North) and my OH commutes to London and is out of the house from 8.00 am to 9.00 pm at the earliest. I see friends at work who do part time hours and see how i) tired they are and ii) how heavily they rely on their families and know I wouldn’t be able to cope. One of them said to me that when you have children, you can’t be ill and I just feel I’d be in a permanent state of relapse as I wouldn’t be able to have the rest I need to get over it. I I turned 40 this year as well so that’s also been big factor. We were planning to start trying at the start of 2012 - I was in good shape, I’d lost nine stone, I was doing pilates three times a week and been relape free for almost two years (on Rebif) However, a relapse at the start of that year put paid to all plans and five more relapses since have put the decision beyond all doubt. I also panic about the thought of not taking Pregabalin, Tizanidine and Amitriplyline as well whilst trying and through pregnancy as it wouldn’t matter who said they were safe to continue with, I just wouldn’t feel comfortable about it and would never forgive myself if there was something wrong with my child.

I’ve also wrestled with the moral question of whether it’s right to have child when you know you have MS. Personally, my overwhelming feeling is that it isn’t - I worry about my child being bullied because of it, how they may react about it when they’re older, about them having to care for me and ultimately missing out on a normal childhood - that’s before you even start with with the minefield of possibly passing it onto them.

Like I said, it’s been hard decision - my OH was desperate for children (it’s one of the reasons his marriage ended) but I’ve always been honest from the start that it may not happen. In his fantasy world, his parents would be able to help us (they absolutely wouldn’t not matter what he thinks plus I wouldn’t really want them here every day!) and he’d work from home (never going to happen) but I think he’s now accepted that I’m just not well enough. He would barely see the child anyway with his hours.

I’m not knocking anyone who wants to have children before or after they knew they had MS - it’s a deeply personal decision - I just wanted to give you the reasons behind mine.

Good luck with whatever you choose x

Not gonna lie i had a baby 15 weeks ago amd from 31 weeks pregnant i statted relapsing they had to give me a csection at 38 weeks as i wasnt well then 8 days after she was born had another relapse where i lost all balance was admitted to hospital for 4 days got over it but still had mobility problems and was only able to go out using pram as a walking aid then at begging of spril lost all strdngth and my legs wouldnt work was admitted to hospital for 9 days on iv steroids for 7 to try and bring legs back physio had to teach me to walk after day 5 of steroids had mri on spine and it was so full of lesions neurologists thought i had devics and had lumber puncture i goy results its ms im now getting over another relapse since that this one not disabling im starting tysabri 11th june im sure you will be better than me im just a bad ecample a T the End of day shes worth it xg

I’m 35 I live in London, I have rrms and I’ve just had a baby. For me it was a no brainer, I definitely wanted to have kids. At diagnosis when I asked my neuro if it was ok to have kids his response was a very enthusiastic “of course”. That’s all I needed to hear. I now have a gorgeous 15 week old baby girl and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My parents live in Scotland and my inlaws live in Hampshire so we don’t have any support. But we get by and they come and stay with us all the time as they want to see their granddaughter. For me it’s worked out well. My pregnancy was smooth and i had no symptoms (apart from blurred Vision in ine eye leftover from a bout of optic neuritis. And I thought that pregnancy would be too much for me but I was fine. And fingers crossed I’ve been mostly ok since giving birth. I take copaxone daily and my neuro said it was fine to stay on it till I knew I was pregnant. I then stopped it and started it again the day after I gave birth. It means I can’t breastfeed but I’m ok with that. No one knows what will happen in the future so if you really want kids then I don’t think you should stop yourself . All the best x

Hi me again I think as well it’s easier If your child always known you as having ms. My son has just turned 5 and I think he’s ‘angry’ he knows me as a mum who taught dancing and was full of life to quite active ms. Where my daughter will never have known me any different. Although my son can be angry it can also make him more compassionate and think of others needs which is not a bad lesson to learn in life. Only you can make the decision with your partner. And follow guidance from ur neuro and ms nurse they’ll know how you are. X

I don’t believe you should put off your baby plans because of MS. I certainly don’t believe it’s selfish to have a baby when know you have MS if thats what you want. I dont know your age but go for it whilst your still young enough to.

We have been desperately trying for a baby for the last few years and tried IVF etc, even though I was told I was at high risk of MS, I have now been diagnosed but we are still planning to adopt a baby this summer. I know it’s different from being pregnant as you dont put that pressure on your body but it’s still been stressfull and will be stressful.

What i mainly wanted to say is that no one knows whats round the corner, you could be well for 20 years!! if the worst happens and you get ill once baby is born you WILL cope. I think if we had a crystal ball on life it would be far more scary! just take things as they come, you will be OK with a baby, there is so much support out there even if it’s not your family. You will cope with whatever life throws at you and you will be OK.

Go for it because you’ll never regret it X

Dear all,

Thanks for your replies and for sharing your experiences. There are so many feeling going around at the moment.
MS already has already became a undesirable part of my (and my husband) life and I am no still ready to the idea of not having a baby.

Thanks again
MTA