Post Relapse euphoria now blues

Only recently got back on the forum as I had been going through a bad relapse, resulting in loss of all feeling (other than pain) in hands & feet. 3 ambulance call outs due to falls.

A couple of weeks ago when I got back in the saddle I was raving about how brilliant was my botox. (done 9 months ago) Had a follow up session with bladder and bowel clinic yesterday at 12 noon. So up at 7, breakfast, bath, dressed and ready for the off at ten. My trusty, rusty scooter conked out after two miles, so abandoned it, caught two buses, walked about 100 yards, five times more than I can easily manage. Arrived 20 minutes late, no phone number, as appointment made from a with held number.

The appointment was intended to help me with how to self catheterise now that my fingers won’t work. I was too late. The nurse came out and said that she was on lunch break but would come to me at home on 10th July. So five hours later I arrived home, £8 for taxi, scooter abandoned, bladder leaking like a sieve for the last 36 hours, knackered & very tearful clutching a piece of paper, with instructions to buy a Cath-Hand - looks like a James Bond Villain contraption.

Had a large Brandy, so didn’t dare to take my meds, crashed on the sofa at 4pm (as bedroom is all covered in dust sheets for the painter due to arrive at 5pm. I was out cold on the sofa so missed him) Wide awake by 7.30 and not slept since - I feel like a zombie.

Today bladder the same as before the Botox, constant dribble and some huge flows, also my left foot and ankle has swollen to almost twice it’s size, phoned the G.P. told only telephone appointments - I am 80% deaf, can’t even attempt putting the aids in, was told to wait until my Neuro appt. as they cannot treat ongoing diagnosed illnesses.

Painter did come this afternoon, all finished, (mostly my hand marks on the walls as I don’t use my stick inside, just wobble from furniture to furniture) - but sofa again for me tonight as I need help tomorrow with bedroom furniture, then carry on packing as I am moving in three weeks.

Always been told that moving was only second to Divorce in high stress, been through both, but MS moving takes six months to recover from (Third time in five years) - Divorce is painless in comparison.

Well folks, have had my bitch now, so can relax and hopefully sleep well tonight - Take care one and all

Mary x

Blimey Mary, you’ve been through the wars a bit! Not surprised you’re feeling rubbish & stressed. As you know, stress isn’t good for anyone, let alone us with MS. Finding ways to relax & de-stress will help lots. I’ve been doing mindfulness meditations since I took part in a study into into it that was funded by the MS Society. I’ve found it really helpful for things like stress & anxiety, as well as pain management. There’s lots of things online; the Get Some Headspace website is a good place to start. Another thing that really helps me to unwind is time in nature. Getting out into the countryside is best, but if that’s not an option for me then I often sit by the window just watching the clouds & birds, while playing in the background (it’s a website that just plays birdsong. I find it very calming.

Also, do you have a carer? If not, it sounds like that would help lots. Get in touch with your local council’s social services, or asl your GP/MS nurse to refer you.

You take good care of yourself.