Somehow I always seem to drive away the good people around me. My own personal fairy is rubbish at guiding me. As my story always goes things were going well, apart from the bladder urgency, pain in hands and arms , fatigue , blurry vision and the remarkable ability to fall over things that aren’t there. But I’d been seeing someone for 2 years. We had a lovely couple of days away at the coast together. Got home and he went to the pub(rugby fan) I said take your phone and I’ll catch up later. He didn’t. I spent too long trying to find him and by then I was so tired, you know the sort where you can barely stand anymore and if you fell you’d just go into a heavy sleep. I told him I can’t do this looking for him, why hadn’t he taken his phone, he retorted that he didn’t need his phone with him. Doesn’t like phones. I found out that he’d been asking questions about how I was abused as a kid. I told him that was not up for discussion with anyone he meets in a pub, that that is personal info that I’d talk to him about if he wants to know anything but right now I want that to stay in the past, I’ve got enough on my plate with ms. So today off he goes to the pub again, this time on the bus to the next town saying to leave him alone cos he doesn’t know when he’s coming back. I feel gutted that I’ve messed up again but I feel he isn’t seeing it the same as I. I know I should just say its ok and forget it, he really is a lovely bloke most of the time but I can’t.
im sorry but this doesnt sound like its your fault, he should not be asking other people in the pub about your past, he should be asking you instead, and as you have told him that you dont want to talk about it then he should just accept that and that you may want to open up when you feel like you are good and ready, he should not be making you feel like its your fault, if he can’t take no for a answer and throw his toys out the pram then its his problem not yours, please dont feel like its your fault as its not
There are a lot of lovely blokes who are very different when they are in the pub. I hope things work out between you, but you should be clear that you are not to blame.
I think Peter sums this up perfectly tbh. As fo the phone issue, I ask my husband to phone or text as he is leaving work if he is on the late side just so I know, he won’t be more than 10-15 mins lat anyway but it helps me with getting tea ready if I know. For th few seconds it would take. He does not do it despite me asking for years and years. My husband doesn’t like phones either. Maybe your boyfriend really just doesn’t like phones. He probably forgets too tbh. I don’t mean to sound on his side as opposed to yours. I’m just not sure that you aren’t reading too much into the phone situation. Cheryl:-)