Forum

lonely

i am so lonely. my life is falling apart. i have absolutly no one i can confide in. its nearly noon and im sat in my pj,s again and will prob just stay here till bedtime. my husband is an alcoholic chain smoking weed addict who verbally abuses me every night. he blames me for him needing to get drunk and stoned so that he can handle the dissapointment of my condition. he has driven my daughter away and my son will be leaving in sept. he has got rid of all our old friends and his family. my family cant help. my mum is in a home with very advanced ms and my dad sits with her from 9-5 every day. it would break his heart if he knew. ive has ms for 10 years now. doc says i also have M.E i am depressed but havent got the oomph to go to the surgery. i dont want to be told to stay strong i havnt laughed or had a happy thought for a very long time. i dont eat i am on a ton of meds including tramadol and fentanyl. i am tired of putting a brave face on.

Hi Deborah - I’m sorry you are feeling lonely - I can see you are in very tough situation. Do you think it might be some use to call the ms society helpline? I’m sure it would help you to speak to someone. You are strong and you deserve support xx It might upset your dad more to know he didn’t have the chance to help you? Take care xx

You don’t need me to tell you that you need help. I don’t know where you can get it though. Verbal abuse is domestic violence. Please please confide in your GP and make enquiries with Citizens Advice Bureau to see if they can point you in the right direction for help and advice. My first husband was a verbally abusive alcoholic, but I didn’t have MS then and my parents were still alive and I was able to go back to them, although it wasn’t without difficulties. I was also in full time employment but thanks to my ex I had no friends left. I hope you can find the help and support you need. I won’t trot out any of those trite phrases which mean well but don’t help. Like the previous reply surely your dad would rather know now, than find out later how much you’d suffered alone. I really feel for you hun xx

Sounds such a bad time for you! Your pain comes through in your post. You say your daughter has left are you still in contact with her and on speaking terms? Is your son off to uni in September and do they both know how bad things are at home? Perhaps you may be able to speak with them, but I do appreciate this might be hard as they may have seen bad things at home. Have you thought about phoning the Samaritans for someone to talk to they are very understanding and the suggestion of the ms helpline is also worth a go. Do try and take of yourself which always easier said than done. Keep on the forum you will get loads of support from here.

hi deborah

that would be too much for a healthy person to deal with, let alone someone with ms.

my ms gets immediately worse if i’m stressed.

speak to someone from a helpline or samaritans.

look after yourself and get strong so that you are able to make big decisions.

sending love, hugs and good thoughts your way

carole x

Hello

I’m sorry your feeling so low, I understand to a degree how your feeling I’ve never felt so alone but Ive started to make steps to make myself smile again, its not easy. My circumstances are different but we both want the same end goal, to be happy :slight_smile:

I won’t repeat what the ladies have said above, they have given some good advice.

What would you like out of life? And what will make you happy?

Hi Deborah

Only you can decide whats the right thing for you. I was married to an abusive alcoholic for 16 years. He left me a while ago and my life has been so much better since, even with the MS diagnosis 3years ago. My teenage daughter and I attended AlAnon meetings for about 18 months and found these hugely supportive - an internet search will show where you’re closest is. It is a support group for family and friends’ of alcoholics. It concentrates on your recovery - not theirs.

I wasn’t brave enough to leave my husband or kick him out even though he made my life and that of our kids a living hell - which i deeply regret.

I hope you feel strong enough to ask someone for help - GP, MS Nurse, local domestic violence group - have attatched a number of national helpline - don’t suffer this alone there is help out there 0808 2000 247 - its a freeohine number and open 24 hours a day.

Take care and many hugs xxx

Hello deborah

I hope you will feel strong enough to take advantage of some of the great advice you’ve been given. I too think the Samaritans would be a good one for you to contact. They are there 24 hours a day 365 days a year; 08457 909090

Somehow, you have to make that step and get help, Just try and put whatever energy you have into doing that. Put yourself first and just put everyone else’s needs to one side. I know that won’t be easy but try.

Once you reach out and ask the right people for help then things will change for you in a positive way.

Keep coming on here and sharing and we’ll support you.

xx

Do your doctors offer a phone consultation ? Many do now and you just ring and tell the receptionist you would like to speak with a doctor, when she asks what the problem is just tell her it is personal.

I understand how you have not got the energy to go to the surgery, explain that to the doctor.

There may be some help from gp, they may have a resident counsellor who can help you but whatever else you do know that we care here on the forum and you will never be alone when you come on here.

I agree with the words others have said, helpline, Samaritans etc.

Take care and sending a hug.

Elljay

Hi. my husband has MS and I know how lonely things become when your partner becomes ill. He copes by going on Facebook where he has a ton of people on there who have MS. I know its not a very good reply but he would befriend you on there and you could chat and join in just like the forum. You have made a good step just by expressing your thoughts and I know there is a lot of people who have read your forum that cares. I hope you can draw the strength to take the step for help. Thinking of you xxx

thankyou soo much for all your support… i know deep down what i have to do i just need to gather enough strength. it helps knowing you lot are out there and non of you can do this for me but trust me the empathy that you have shown has really given me a boost… with deep grats thankyou xxxx