… and one I don’t seem to have anymore (especially when this failed to post and I lost it)!
Realised this missing virtue after seeing the neurologist for the first time yesterday and being referred for full spinal cord and brain MRI along with lumber puncture which will take another 2 months of waiting and then more waiting to see the neurologist again.
No idea what my post originally said, something about 'lovely ’ weather and being more miserable because of it, staying in the relative cool and looking out at the bright blue sky, and getting fed up of afternoon naps 
Trying to think about phased return to work after 3 months off, but maybe leave that for a more positive day, and one where I can recall my train of thought.
Thanks for reading and hope that you are all better at mindfulness than me today 
Hang in there. Even when they have the scans and LP you can still find yourself in Limboland. I’m 3.5 months down the line from a disabling episode which turned out to be Transverse Myelitis on C2 C3, have just had positive LP results back, and yet, although I have brain lesions too, I am told they aren’t typical so have been told to wait for another attack, which is scary.
There’s no way I can go back to work in my old job soon, not even on a phased return, so I’m trying not to think about that.
Like you, my patience is running out, if I ever had any in the first place. I can’t do any of my old hobbies now, which is depressing because I have tons of pretty wool and fabric. So, what to do while I’m stuck in the house? Well, I have decided to try to learn the ukelele. My left hand is better than my right although I am naturally right hand dominant, so it should be able to manage the chord changes and my right hand just has to go up and down. I have no musical ability whatsoever, and have never previously managed to play any instrument and can’t tell in tune from out of tune, so anything I achieve will be a success and I will have no idea if I am doing it badly, also, we know the brain responds to learning, so hopefully I’m exercising it too.
Anyway, enough about my attempts to fill my days: had you already had an MRI before you saw the neurologist? I’m sre you must have posted your story on here before, but I have a memory like a sieve, I’m afraid…
Best of luck with the ukulele, fortunately I’m still crocheting like a woman possessed, if I couldn’t do that I think I really would go mad!
No MRI yet, so no idea what’s going on, although neurologist did say symptoms are typical of MS and this would be his best guess at this stage (sounds really reassuring!). Physically doing much better than just a month ago (3 months since this all began this time around), and this is the third episode in about 6 years, although I could put a range of other things down to this covering the past 15-20 years, if indeed it is what we all think. But it’s the mental capacity I find much more scary.
Cheers for the reply, hope you get your answers soon too.
Helena x
hi helena
my poor old brain is like a piece of swiss cheese.
some days i embarass myself by the stuttering mess i make of words.
then there are the times when i know what i want to say but the words won’t come.
oh but a few hours later they are there.
sometimes i’ll be talking to my husband and trying to tell him something when the words won’t come until 3.00am when i wake up shouting the word.
hey i’m truly a joy to live with!
good luck helena and i hope your symptoms subside or preferably go away
carole x
other days my brain is on top form and i wish i was in a more public place so others could see me
Oh Carole that sounds so familiar. My partner used to get really frustrated that I would switch off mid conversation or not remember things he’d told me, and as for going out without the list I’d painstakingly made! Now we both just shrug our shoulders and laugh it off… and who knows, there may actually be a medical explanation coming soon.
Best wishes
Helena x