Panic attacks

Hi, its been a while, I hope your all having a nice day, I’ve been browsing for a while. I’m having lots of panic attacks at the moment, I think the reason is that I’m really close to being organised at home, that might sound daft but if I always have jobs to do there is no space or time in my head to think about life. I’ve tried a few times to get organised at home and love a tidy house, in theory it will give me more time to do things I want to, in reality it feels like I’m running towards a cliff and instead of flying I’m going to fall into a place I can’t deal with. The closer I’m getting to being organised (all my friends & family think I am happy with being in a fuddle at home) I can’t stand it!!. The worse im feeling, & the thought of the void at the end of it that is ‘my life’ makes me feel physically sick. Does anyone else get this?. I was thinking sharing how its going here may help, I can’t tell my lot, they will think I’m barmy, I think I’m barmy. Cheers BC x