panic attacks

Hi, its been a while, I hope your all having a nice day, I’ve been browsing for a while.
I’m having lots of panic attacks at the moment, I think the reason is that I’m really close to being organised at home, that might sound daft but if I always have jobs to do there is no space or time in my head to think about life. I’ve tried a few times to get organised at home and love a tidy house, in theory it will give me more time to do things I want to, in reality it feels like I’m running towards a cliff and instead of flying I’m going to fall into a place I can’t deal with. The closer I’m getting to being organised (all my friends & family think I am happy with being in a fuddle at home) I can’t stand it!!. The worse im feeling, & the thought of the void at the end of it that is ‘my life’ makes me feel physically sick. Does anyone else get this?. I was thinking sharing how its going here may help, I can’t tell my lot, they will think I’m barmy, I think I’m barmy.
BC x

Hello BC, you don’t need me to tell you how hard it is to be organized-even for able bodied people. We certainly struggle at home. We’ve out-grown the flat and we have a 10 month old daughter who’s everywhere. My wife has just gone back to work for 2 and a half days and tidy has left via the window. (Defenestration-I like that word!) It’s now going to take some time before we get sorted. When I was single, I had a cleaner for 2 hours a week-not too expensive but it made a real difference. We’re not ready to do that again due to my rather modest pension! Have you contacted the local authority occupational therapist department. They are good at giving ideas and suggesting tools/gadgets adapted to your needs. I hope that this helps, if only to show that it is a general issue. It may be chaos here, but we still laugh a lot. Best wishes, Steve.