Hi, I had my first baby 9 weeks ago and I’m a wheelchair user. I am feeling really isolated at the moment because I’m stuck in in the week because partner and family are working so unable to get out and about. I feel guilty that my baby is cooped up all the time because I can’t get us both out independently. I’d love to take him to mother and baby groups and for me to also meet new mums. I’m at a loss and don’t know who to ask or where to go for help and advice.
I’m thinking of buying a powered wheelchair or mobility scooter but I don’t know where to start because I need something which enables me to have my baby with me.
I don’t have children so this could be a really stupid idea(!) but, if you were in a power chair would it be feasible to have the baby in a papoose when it is very small?
I’m still waiting to hear from my health visitor whether somebody could help me get to various mother and baby groups. They are dragging their heels getting back to me
I’l certainly look into direct payments though. That would be great if somebody could help me
Where do you live? I’m a mum with MS my son is now 6 and goes to school. I used to go to the local children’s centres in my area when he was a baby and they were my life saver as it got me out and meeting other mums, some of which I’m still friends with 6yrs on and I’ve even moved from that area now. I didn’t use a wheelchair back then though so can understand how that can be tricky.
I can relate to feeling isolated though as I’ve just moved back to my home town of Sunderland after separating from my husband. Although I now have the benefits of living close to my parents for help and support I’m finding it difficult to make friends my own age. On the school run I’m in my wheelchair and find the other mums don’t speak to me despite my smiles.
i hope your health visitor can help you and offer advice.
Do keep nagging your health visitor as there is definitely help available. She can give you details of mother and baby groups in your area and should also be able to put you in touch with people who will take you to the groups too. I suspect the problem is that health visitors are so overworked that you may have slipped off their ‘to do’ list so keep reminding her.
Hi, I don’t have kids, but in regards to getting out and about. Do you get PIP? Cos if you do, you could use it to get a PA to take you out. That’s what I do. Good luck, xxx
Hi, there is afacebook page MuMSUK. You should look it up and join. I know there is at least one mum on there who is a full time wheelchair user and has young children. You may even find other mums in your area too. Very useful site for sharing information. Good luck and many congratulations.
When my kids were all small enough I carried them in slings and I remember that there were a few groups for people who carried their babies while in wheelchairs. I can’t remember any of their names though so you will have to do a bit of searching but they will be filled with lovely mums who can give loads of advice. Do you have sure start where you are? We have it here in Northern Ireland and they a great help to all parents with small children. Also, please don’t feel guilty, all that baby need right now is you and doesn’t care if it’s getting out and about. It’s much harder on you than the baby, I’m sure you are in need of some adult conversation!
Hi Fiona, i’m also a full time wheelchair user and before i had my car converted to hand controls, if i needed to get to an appointment etc and a family member of friend could’nt take me, i used a local charity organisation that specialise in community transport for disabled people that find it difficult to use regular public transport, i did a quick search for Bradford and found this http://www.newlandstransport.org.uk/ and if this organisation can’t help you then i’m sure they will be able to point you in the right direction to help you get out and about and to your mother and baby group
To be honest, direct payments are a bit of a faff, due to the paperwork and I am not sure the hourly rate would cover what most PA’s would ask for. Also, you need to have an assessment by social services and they don’t consider getting out and about a need, for some stupid reason. By all means, look into it, but you might not have any success. Could you use your DLA to pay for a PA? xxx
Just wanted to say that my Direct Payments social worker was very keen on me using some of the allowance to pay for me going to local groups., Also to pay for carers to take me out.
That’s interesting Polly. Maybe it’s just down here in Cornwall that they don’t want us to have a life then. When I had them back in 2008 and 2009, I found the paperwork really hard going. When I asked about it again in 2015, I was told that it is only for help with personal care and not for helping going out. Anyway I use my PIP to pay for my PA. So there is no paperwork, as she does it all herself, all I have to do is pay her. I think it is so wrong that there are different rules for different counties. Surely, it should all be the same xxx
