Hi I recently gave birth to my beautiful baby girl in December. While pregnant I was happy to get relief from the ms symptoms I would suffer from on a daily basis - mainly fatigue in some form. Since having a baby my symptoms have crashed back into my life, as well as extreme tiredness from learning to cope with being a first time mum. I am obviously so so happy to have my daughter in my life but hoped to get a bit of support. My husband & parents have been great but was not prepared for my in-laws to suddenly act as though they’ve pressed a re-set button & forgotten the last 15 years they’ve known me & forget how I’ve struggled with ms for the past 5 or so years. I’ve been accused of basically acting as though I don’t want to see them, giving them “looks” (aka looking absolutely fatigued & shattered), and that I’ve never wanted to go round to see them. When my husband tried to explain the situation with how I’ve been struggling to get my head around the ms etc, I was deeply upset to be told the following - - that it’s not like ms is like having cancer, that it is just a degenerative disease - that my in laws know someone with Parkinson’s & they still manage to go through life with a smile on their face I’m devastated that they would say such horrible things as I’ve always got on well with my husbands family, so this has completely beaten me & I’m crying so much it’s affecting me enjoying spending time with my daughter. I would appreciate any advice on how to handle such a horrible family - unfortunately I still have to see them. I want to make sure they don’t ruin what should be a happy phase in my life. Many thanks Nicola
hi nicola,
congratulations on the birth of your daughter, it’s wonderful. i’m sorry you’re dealing with in-law problems, casting my mind way back, i remember a time in my life after my daughter was born when dealing with in-law issues AND ms would have been awful. have you got an ms nurse available? a good baby/mother clinic/ gp? so you can speak to someone impartial about your situation? i remember having a bit of the ‘baby blues’ too, and talking helped me see things a little more positively. hopefully your husband can intercede and find out what on earth is going on with his parents and perhaps direct them to this site so they can learn a little about ms. i know it’s just a small thing to suggest, but make sure you grab every opportunity to sleep, or even just close your eyes for a little time.
take care,
wendy xx
hi nicola
congratulations on your beautiful bundle of joy.
do your in-laws want to be part of your baby’s life?
as wendy says. talk to your gp or health visitor and try to get it off your chest.
that friend with parkinson’s is probably grinning through it with gritted teeth.
take care
carole x
Hi Nicola I can totally sympathise I left my husband just after the birth of my daughter this year. hed been moved out a week when my right side stopped working. My husband told my friends i dont know how she is we’re not together any more. My mother in law said to my mum so how is she really what do u think it is. Practically rolling her eyes. And after my second bad relapse in nov go dx got a text to say sorry about your diagnosis at least they can now manage your symptoms like its a cold. I said to my sister in law who had been my bridesmaid and one of my good friends for 11 years who didnt text me when i was in hospital sometimes i wish it was something you either wn oor loose at and her reply was oh dont say that you know what i’m like with real illness. At that point said goodbye politely got in the car drove away and started crying. I was upset hurt, now i’m justr disgusted and think i cant believe i wasted so much of my life on them.
Dont let them get to you. ask your husband to have a word to see if they actually understand.
Congratulations on your new baby enjoy every minute they grow up so quickly.
xxx
Congratulations Nicola - Very difficult situation for you to be in. The remarks are hurtful and unhelpful - equally they may want ot be involved and feel they are losing their son now you both have a family - the best advice I can give is to tell you exactly what my Health Visitor told me many many years ago. Drop the baby off at grandparents for a couple of hours get some much needed rest. Don’t fret about what they are doing just rest. Grandparents are happy to be left in charge. Don’t know whether they are near enough to do this other alternative is to have them at your house and they take baby out for a couple of hours. They get to see grandchild and you get some rest. Don’t know if you are breast feeding or not but I just expressed enough milk to give a small bottle should baby be hungry. Hopefully it will get easier but you do need your husband to explain their remarks are hurtful especially at a time when emotional and practical support is what should be offered. Enjoy your little girl, they grow up all too quickly.
Hello Nicola Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl. Sorry to hear your having problems with the in-laws. I think your husband should have serious words with his parents. Suggest they read about ms and the effects on the sufferer. Also, to buck up their ideas and be supportive, if they want to be in your lives. He needs to show them you and the baby come first. Good luck…hope things work out 
Hi Nicola
Congratulations on the birth of your little daughter.
I agree that your husband needs to have words with your inlaws. If their words are upsetting you then they need to be told. They have made some ridiculous comments and you should be strong and just worry about taking care of your little bundle of joy. Don’t let them get to you. Let hubby deal with them and I would say they are welcome round when they stop making stupid remarks.
I hope you can manage to sort things out but I have to say inlaws can be a pain in the neck in my experience during my first marriage. Not so much in my second marriage!
Shazzie xx
Be careful that the problem doesn’t become a problem between you and your husband who may well get caught in the middle.
DON’T discuss the ‘problem’ with your husband and gradually distance yourself slowly from your in-laws.