As the heading says “Support from your mother” … havent spoke to my mother now for 4 weeks… even writing this, is very upsetting, cant even believe I’m putting pen to paper, but need to get it out. My aunty had MS, passed away now 6 yrs ago, it was my mother’s sister. We went to visit my aunty as we were growing up, but can honestly say, my mother never showed her any form of support and I can honestly say doesnt even know the full extent of how MS affects you. DX 2 years ago now, this May, when I came out of hospital and told my parents what I’d been diagnosed with, she said “I thought so”, but never said when I was suffering and going back and fore drs for 2 years. Yeah probably she didnt want to tempt fate, but this last year she has been getting increasingly cold towards me. When I ring she never answers the phone, if she does she passes phone to my father, if my father answers the phone, I can hear her in the background, but she never speaks or if she knows its me, she puts the phone down and just leaves my father on the line. I have tried numerous times to speak with her, tell her I would like to have her support, her love, her hugs, hugs have never been something she’s done anyway, but would really like them more now. It normally ends up in an argument, whereby she’ll say she cant handle it, the MS and I’ve said, I cant sometimes, but I’ve got no choice and if it was my daughter then I’d try my hardest to help her as much as I can. BUT NOTHING!!!.. I have another aunty, who’s told me that my mother thinks I blame her for the illness, but I dont, I cant, she hasnt got it. The last time I spoke to her 4 wks ago, I said I dont blame you for the illness, I cant, you havent got it and she said not yet, but I might have it in the future, she’s 74.
I know you need your family in times of hardship, but just cant handle the rejection anymore, feel its easier if we dont speak, then there’s no arguments or silent treatment. Had to go drs yday, been having pain on my left hand side, dr says he feels it could be coming from my ovaries. Anyway may have to go for a scan nxt week. My dad rang yday and I told him, it was women things, he’s 83, dont want to discuss it with him or worry him for that matter.
I know this is a cold post and can honestly say its either to put pen to paper on here, could not discuss this with my friends, they’re all close with their mums and dont want to sound horrible, cos I know i’m not.