Had ms nurse appointment today. She was lovely have no complaints, the junior doctor actually was very competent today. At least the eye thing has been reported. I’m hoping to change to tysabri or Gilenya but I’m wait and see at the moment. Was supposed to take Callum to cinema he said he didn’t feel well thought he was play acting until he was sick all over the car, So had to strip him on a street, and clean up as best as I could luckily is bought pjs so got him changed Then was talking to him and had swerved over the road, anyway someone had called police. Arrived at mums policeman get out car someone had reported me. He was lovely he said have you been drinking. Said no I wish I’ve been at hospital. He’s like didn’t think you would have. He new I was at my mums so think he must have known who I was. He radioed to check is licence and said someone with too much time on their hands and let me go. I’ve really pushed having willow home but I’m tired and peeved with this ms malarkey. I love my kids to death and I just can’t be the mum I want to be. I can’t get the balance. I hate I have to fight to keep my house under control. I know house work will still be there, but ex said when he left you’ll never cope yourself. The house will be a mess. The kids ask me to do stuff and I’m not able. I hate seeing them disappointed. I want the house sold. The agreement sorted and I just want to hide lock the door and never go out, I’m just having a down day and have a headacje. Does anyone else find the more they move the less sore they feel. Having an easy day should help but I find just keep going and working through the pain makes me forget, so keep going till I burn out. And it’s all very well saying space stuff etx but 5 and 1 ur olds don’t wAit for mum to feel better. And last night I was helping mum with computer stuff till midnight then couldn’t sleep so eventually slept at 2 and mum phoned to wake me (I asked her too so I didn’t sleep in. I’ve taken to switching off my alarm) when I answered I asked her why she was phoning. She said you have to get up. I mumbled why lol. Didn’t remember I had to go to ms nurse lol. But being only 31 the thought of living the rest of my life like this is just depressing.
Oh how I feel for you, I know that feeling of wanting to shut the door and hide away…been there done that etc.
But agree with last post, you are doing your best honey…I was dx,d at 30 and have had some great years some not so great but you might just find things get better soon…certainly the stress of divorce etc is adding to your illness issues.
Hang in there honey…forget the housework and just give yourself a break … get 10 minutes of “me” time whenever you can.
Children adapt to what they have in life as long as they are loved.
Hugs from a sixty something gran who had a 10month baby at diagnosis…I survived and you will too hon.
xxx
Keep at it your kids will love you whatever I wish I could say it gets better but you cope with it as it comes. I am nearly sixty in a wheelchair and swear at everything life just carrys on one pile of crap to the next but I am determined to keep smiling because it confuses people. Hugs from Margate X Don
Em, you sound like you’re doing the absolute best you can for you and your family. Don’t be so hard on yourself. If your house isn’t always in perfect condition it’s not a crime. You do what you can. You are still coming to terms with all the newness of MS plus everything else that seems to be going on in your life. More than 20 years of all the ms rubbish and I am much more relaxed about admitting ‘nah, that’s not going to happen today, might not even happen tomorrow, but I’ll get there’. Mind you, have spent time in your town over the years and am aware there has always been a big thing for people having large immaculate houses I showroom condition so I imagine there is always that pressure. Lol
Hi ginsozzled The good old broch eh? Yeah it can be quite competitive who has the cleanest house, how’s range rover shined. I’ve never been into that. I live in an old house much preferred it garden has high walls no neighbours. My neighbours are actually lovely. I like my privacy and I don’t care what Tom, dick and Harry are up. As I’ve said before when me and ex split would have been as well taking an article out in the sun newspaper. I get told gossip and ur goes straight through until someone tells me again and wS like can’t believe you never told me. In saying that I’m not a saint lol we all like a little bit of gossip lol.
Emfraseburgh, had to laugh at your comment on range rover shining you see my hubby and 2 sons are range rover, landrover nuts and we have a few in the garden instead of flowers and rose bushes ( my preference ) they are there for restoration projects and I only last week had a moan and said if you must keep these ****** old wrecks could you at least give them a wash now and then !
Much to my amazement son did wash one, and it got covered up. Our neighbours hate that we have these vehicles in the drive and on what used to be a lawn…their places are all immaculate trimmed lawn edges etc windows cleaned every week all that stuff which is just a dream for us ms,ers.
One side even complained to the parish council because we had 4 cars…we have 4 drivers too and when I was working I used a Landrover, old but reliable and the only thing that ensured I never got stuck in winter going out to my rural patients. ( as well as the vehicle which towed many other folk out of trouble )
I so wish I could move to an old country cottage with a high wall round it … I love old houses, so much more character than my little bungalow box.
I just wish I could ignore the rahter hurtful comments we get from neighbours. Must work harder on that !
PS no vehicle newer than 20 years in my drive…my son just sold a Landie to someone in Germany and he flew over to collect and now wants to buy another one when son has finished refurb. Every neighbour has car no OLDER than a year … each to his own but why must they have a go at us