I saw the neuro today and he told me my MRI was clear BUT he’s still of the opinion that I’m likely to have MS. I find this a tad surprising given how reluctant many neuros seem to be to diagnose this condition.
Anyway, I’m on his NHS list now (MRI and first 2 appointments were private due to excessive waiting list here in darkest West Wales, but I can’t afford it any longer) and he’s requested a lumbar puncture, further MRI (a bit lower down the spine) and evoked potentials tests.
I was remarkably controlled for most of the appointment, but then blubbed rather pitifully in the car on the way home. The sight of some poor miserable looking bloke in a wheelchair in KFC set me off and I assailed my long suffering other half with wimpers of ‘If I end up like that I really don’t think I could stand it’ - pathetic woman that I am.
Although I still don’t have a firm diagnosis I really feel that I need to steel myself and start telling my nearest and dearest, and my team leader at work what is going on with me. I don’t see my Mum and Dad very often as they each live a fair distance away and how the hell do you casually drop ‘Oh, by the way, I may have MS’ into a phone conversation? I find it incredibly difficult to talk about without bursting into tears, which is blimmin’ embarrassing all round!
I seem to be going through a spell of veering wildly between being terribly upbeat and horribly pessimistic.
Here is where I would like to have a darn good swear, but I don’t think this forum allows it! Sometimes a stream of profanities can really ease the tension.
Going to enjoy the rest of my bottle of Rioja now.