Moving into sheltered housing or not?!!

I am a woman with ms aged 65, my husband has numerous health conditions and we have discussed moving into sheltered housing. The problem with me is I don’t seem to have anything in common with the people I’ve come across who live in these apartments. Particularly the building I would prefer to live in, (Or any of the buildings come to that). The flats are all privately owned. I’m left of center Guardian reading individual, I care about Asylum seekers, I’m an animal loving Vegan who finds it difficult to express myself, (Cognitive problems make it worse) I don’t like confrontation but have to correct some of my ms friends when they are blatantly racist, so do I suck it up and stay in my flat most of the time, can anyone give me their experiences please. We won’t be selling up just yet but it’s on the horizon. Thanks for any replies.

In Manhattan I understand that, in the most expensive apartment blocks, existing residents vet potential applicants to check that they are the right sort of people before they’re allowed to buy. I don’t think we do that here – not yet anyway. So there’s no use you trying to vet them either! Look, if you add your Guardian to the heaps of Daily Mails in the communal recycling bin, so what? You’ll probably find you have a lot more in common than you have to separate you. And the extra comfort and security of living with a bit more support around you should surely be a big help.

Sounds as though you viewed the wrong sheltered housing complex! It sounds like you’re as narrow and judgemental as the people you encountered in that development, but at the opposite end of the value spectrum. Easiest win would be to find another development with more like-minded people than try to convert the “wrong” people - life’s too short.

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Speaking as a Guardian reading leftie, I sympathise with your tricky dilemma. In my experience most people are decent enough and easy to get along with, even if they don’t share your political views. It’s ok to agree to disagree.
Mind you, I live in socialist east London and you don’t see many blue rinses around here.
Go out by all means, but perhaps carry a copy of your favourite paper with you and see if it acts as a deterrent.

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Hello Corkie

I don’t live in sheltered accommodation, but I do understand why you are concerned about living in close proximity to people from the opposite end of the personal and political spectrum to yourself.

I live in a quiet street within a village on the south coast. We are quite close by to our neighbours, it’s a very narrow road and there are many who I know I would be antithetical to. However, we manage to get along with our neighbours. My husband is a source of support to several elderly neighbours, He’s the first port of call for them when they have problems or need assistance and he’s happy to be that person. Equally, we’ve called on several neighbours to help him pick me up when I’ve fallen.

We don’t have to agree with our neighbours on any issues, we just rub along together OK. We know our choice of newspaper is different to theirs, but just avoid talking politics or anything contentious.

You may find that looking more widely you’ll eventually find a sheltered housing place to suit you and your husband.


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Hi Sue, thank you for your reply, problem, I have looked at others and I like this one in particular as it is close to shops and I don’t drive any more. I didn’t make it clear that I know some of these people and they are helpful but inclined to take you over. If I do move there I would have to be strong and not let them intimidate me. (We are like you, we get on well with our neighbours here, even though we are probably not on the same page in the way we look at the world, but they’re not in the same building.

Yes I know they read the daily mail as I know some of them and it leads them to be hateful to which ever group the daily mail have it in for. Perhaps just telling them I’m a Christian (which I am and they know I am) might stop them but wait some of them are Christians too! You are right, it might be a comfort knowing others are around.

Thank you for your reply, I suppose I am judgmental but I didn’t make myself clear, I know some of them and have to listen to these views a lot. I just keep quiet, perhaps I should make it clear that I’m a Christian (which they already know). If we do move it would probably be to this one, as it’s near to the town center, I’ll just have to be aware and move away when these conversations take place.

Thanks for your reply Whammel, I didn’t make myself clear I know some of them and have to listen to these conversations a lot. Perhaps you are right, I’d have to take a copy of the Guardian into the lounge and move away when these conversations start up.