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moving home

hi guys, hope you are well!. i have lived in the same 3 bed house for 40yrs. i am moving to a 1 bed so my question i suppose is… how the hell do i get rid of 40yrs of memories? im ok with the big stuff but im leaving my family home. all my memories are here and i know i can take all the good memories with me and leave the bad ones behind the door but its the end of a era!

i am one week away and still so much to do i have never been under so much stress. This is is something i have to do for the good for my general health but im beginning to think i cant do this alone but theres nobody i can ask

any advice before i go rocking back and forth singing koombaya would be stunningly helpfull

thanks Paul

hi paul i understand that it feels like you are leaving a part of yourself but you’re not! stress is the worse thing ever and that is likely to be what is causing you to feel this way. just knuckle down and get the job done. then moving into your new place will be like starting a new chapter - you have the pen so write yourself a good one. and only sing the verse that goes…‘someone’s singing lord kum ba ya’ wishing you well carole x

Hi soul mate Paul. I have just put my house on the market it sold in 1 day GULP. I moved in here with my husband in 1991. After he died in october I know i have to move its all too big for me. I am buying a one bed bungalow.

I came with him and leaving with him. Memories are in your heart and mind not in bricks and mortar. A house is just that a house. Who occupies it with you is what matters.

My hubby bless him is coming with me in his little casket. I have my memories and photos.

to say i was scared is and understatement. BUT he has guided me its a long story.

Anyway in 2016 I learnt a lot about STUFF we collect.

My mum died in february 2016 and we had to empty her lovely house she had lived in for years and years. What do you take, what do you get rid of. It was HEARTBREAKING to see all that stuff she had lovingly collected all those years. Those were HER MEMORIES. Not ours. Yes we saw them when we visited but each piece she knew where it came from or why it came.

There are six of us and we took what we could because it was mostly habit to see.

I ended up with photo albums way back to when my dad was a baby. What i have done is have had all the good photos scanned it took ages with people helping me, and everyone of my siblings got copies on the computer.

We all kept a piece of something she loved and knew about.

Everything else just went. Charity shops etc. ALL THAT STUFF just gone.

BUT it doesnt lessen the memories of her not at all. I can still see her sitting in her favorite chair, and dad on his. (He died in 1997).

All those memories are in my mind and heart.

So on that note since my hubby died i have stripped each room, all his grown up children have been offered memories of him, his cups he won driving etc, items of clothing he loved, his favorite shirt he loved is now a cushion and will come with me, and over the months, my house has been stripped of all stuff. The only thing left now is my clothing and household items and a few things I have collected and loved and the girls have already been given all my jewellery which i never wear now anyway, what is left is going with me.

When i leave this house I will look back on it as a home i shared with my hubby, he has gone now and all our memories will be coming with me.

I am EXCITED actually to start a new life for myself. I will be surrounded by the love of my family and by all my memories of my mum and dad, and my hubby and I will remember all the fun i had in my house by looking through photos if i need too.

I am hoping to make new memories.

I have been sorting the house since october, trying to do it in one go is way too hard.

Just take the things which are special to you.

I would get a packers in to do the rest. If you have friends and family have a packing party.

GOOD LUCK on your new move, ITS A NEW BEGINNING not an ending hun. xxxxxxxxxxx

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Hi Paul I had to do the same my life was there fro child to 62 years old the new house was about the same size so it were pretty much a straight flit on the day off the flit we got plenty help I just went for the day my wife directed operations

We shifted from country to large village so really it’s a new life it didn’t take long to settle in and make this our home most off our old furniture is gone now and wee are very happy

I worked all my life in farming witch is a way off life rather than a job it was a soul searching time when I had to stop work I could have stayed on doing some training etc but having been told to stop work completely a clean break was necessary.

In a way I’d love to move to a smaller house. We have far too much clutter. The main problem would be the books. We have over 1500 of them. Some could be replaced with ebook versions, but not all are available.

Years ago I told my mother-in-law that her back room was full of junk and needed a clear out. That was a bit tactless, but it was true. I rephrased it to “a lot of clutter”, which sounded better but meant the same. She was convinced that I wanted to get rid of her memories, which I didn’t. When she died Hubby and I had to clear the house so it could be refurbished before we moved in. Yes, there were things that would have held memories for her, but there were a lot of things that there was no reason to keep. My mother-in-law was a hoarder. My mother tried not to hoard, giving us keepsakes that held memories for us before she died. We still need to go through her house to clear it before my nephews move in, but it won’t be such a big job.

Only you can decide which things are important to you. Photographs can be scanned and kept on a disc, portable hard drive or cloud storage. Some books can be replaced with ebook versions, provided that the particular copy doesn’t hold memories. The memories associated with the house are also in your head. They will always be with you.

Hi Paul,

Your 1st question is how do you get rid of 40 years of memories. So the answer is… You don’t! Memories live within you forever. I bet you can remember some school days, even a teachers name, your first paid job, would that be a paperboy, milk float Saturday helper? Do you remember hobbies you’ve had that waned off?

You also say it also feels like you’re ending an era. Well, like age, nursery, school, college, work …all things we experience. You aren’t ending any era, they come to their natural end to start a new one, and all previous experiences become a living era of memories to live within you forever.

You need physical, practical help to get rid of STUFF. I love C.Chicks description, because stuff is exactly that.

Your post suggests you are so overfaced you don’t know where to start. First of all Congratulate yourself by knowing your move to a 1 bedroom bungalow is the best for YOU, and NOW is where you’ll start a new beginning and meet new friends etc. Your lifestyle will be much less worry, you’ve obviously given this some thought & now moving day is almost here.

Can you get a House Clearance firm to empty the house after you 've removed what you need to keep & what you want to take? It is a huge task for you to complete in just a week’s time. Can the moving day be extended?

You definitely need more people to help. If you can’t ask anyone to help, is that because you don’t like to ask? Maybe contact Charities to see if they want anything, Social Services often have a storage place where people living hand to mouth can buy from their charity shop, they might even come to collect the stuff. Other charities may help too, Help the Aged, Shelter, Red Cross etc.

My mantra when clearing out is, If I haven’t touched it in 18months then it must be sold or given away. It works for me but hubby is a hoarder!I

Good luck Paul, I hope you manage to get some physically strong people to help you.

Chrissie

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Just clearing my home to sell. Very mixed emotions.

Keep, charity, skip - 5 seconds to decide or daughter made the decision for me!!

Mind did get a few things out of the skip and asked the charity shop to return something ( it wasn’t mine to give away).

Good luck!!

x

hiya

you have had good replies!

2 years ago i moved into a bungalow from a 3 bed up and down stairs. my youngest was born on the living room floor there!

however life and needs change. this still feels like a house-not yet a home. perhaps one day it will change…

hope it goes smoothly when it happens!

ellie

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