Motivation - Post Flare-up / Relapse

Hi all,

I wonder if others could tell me how their motive power is after a manifestation of their symptoms?

I am currently struggling very much with drive to do hardly anything at all. I have a busy life normally, running a business, supporting my wife and children and so on. I also take part in volunteer work and have a multitude of hobbies.

However, after pushing myself recently I’ve nosedived once again. For the last week or two I’ve had as much get-up-and-go as a sloth on a slow day. I can’t be bothered. It’s taken me all day just to finally sit down and type a few lines here. In the past I get better but it can take weeks and weeks. My wife misses the enthusiastic and lively me. As a matter of fact, so do I!

I wonder if there is anything I can do to help myself? When I feel this way I can’t be bothered with anything. I become a rather boring person. I don’t have opinions on anything, I just don’t care. I’ve felt like this before, each time following a relapse. This time I thought I’d share my depressed state!


I know just what you mean! I can easily fall into the can’t be bothered way of life abd once I’m in the hole it takes even more effort to get back out and back to normal.

The way I’ve learned to deal with it is to set myself a task each day. It could be comething as simple as, clean the fridge out or more challenging such as doing a bit of macro photography of the fungus in the local park. It all depends on how my MS is as to how much I push myself (it’d silly fungus hunting if I can walk straight and fall over).

I’m now in the habit of setting reminders in my phone of the tasks/jobs/things I want to do and mark them complete when done. It gives me the motivation to keep doing things when I look at my calendar and see the completed things that I’ve achieved. If for any reason I’ve not completed something, it gets moved to next week so I can’t escape it!

It’s difficult and it takes quite a bit of will power to get going but once you are, it’s easier to stay that way. Hope you find something that works for you.


Thanks Sue for your response, much appreciated.

I think we have to adjust our expectations and yes, just plan small! :slight_smile:

I was a pole dance instructor, yes even when I was struggling to walk! I’m still working in an office and I can contend with that… just, but it’s knackering (but I have to, I’m self-employed). Come the weekends, I only make plans for one night, if I try for both then I’ll usually be ill and wiped out by Sunday.

I’m likely PPMS so I surrendered the driving license and shut my eyes as a passenger for that matter so I know it was the right move!

My current contract means I work 5 in 4 so it’s tiring because I have to work long days but having a 3 day weekend means I can spread things out a bit more.

You’ll find your way, just accept that you can’t necessarily do quite as much these days… as my husband pointed out yesterday, he can’t put his socks on standing up, maybe some of it’s age lol!

Every few days I will completely get dressed without sitting… this means leaning on things, holding onto door-handles etc. and usually comes with a few swear words and occasionally bruises :wink: but I can’t and won’t let it beat me completely ;)Acceptance is hard!!!

Sonia x


I’ll tell yu one thing, I could have been the author of your post. I just have lost my get-up-and-go. I too was heavily involved in volunteer work, exercise, family etc., now it’s all I can do to get up and go to work (which is where I am at the moment), this site has been a blessing for me. I live in Belgium and have no support group at all. I do not speak the language, but it is where the work for me is at the moment.

Has stress been more for you lately? I notice that with an increase in stress, there is a direct coorelation with my fatigue/depression etc. I am an American, and with the recent budget crisis, my stress level raised considerably (as I am employed by the Government). Since that is settled at least until January, I’m hoping i will feel a little more like participating in life in general.

Thanks for your post, I do not feel quite as alone!


Hi there.

I am sorry to read that you are struggling.

I`ve just answered a post about a poem, which the poster thought felt like herself.

Take a look at my reply and see if any of it could help you.

But reading all the activities you do, as well as running a business too, I think you need to cut back on at least some of them. Although they give you fullfilment, I do think your life would be more manageable and happy. Your wife might get the old you back too.

I think your wife and family need you more than the extra activities do. Plus YOU are very important…and you deserve some relaxation and rest.

I hope I haven`t come across as too harsh, as I dont mean to. Just trying to help, is all hun.

luv Pollx

I know where you are coming from. For the last I don’t remember how many years I have been struggling with my symptoms mainly severe pain. This year has been really bad my Hubby/main carer and I have been under a lot of stress. We went for a break to Portugal, the weather wasn’t good only 2 days of sun, I had the pooh’s even had to buy a new pair of shorts as I had soiled the ones I was wearing, had had eye surgery for skin cancer before I left and they left a stich in so I got lots more pain and a bad eye infection and the disabled friendly hotel wasn’t steep slope with 2 steps on way in, then had to dismantle my wheelchair to get it in the lift. But it’s that was the best thing we have done in years all the stress left us and we were enjoying life again. Laughing (when did I last do that!!!) taking the mick out of each other which we both do a lot, but we had been bickering this year something we don’t do.

My advice avoid stress at all costs. Take charge of your life and make life as easy as possible for yourself, it is had to life with M.S. just find ways to make it easier for you and your nearest and dearest. Think positive thoughts. try diversion therapy, the brain came block out the pain and bad thoughts if you try. Do thing things that make you happy it’s easier to cope when you are happy.