Male/Female thinking

Good day folks, I recently woke up in hospital, the ICU to be precise, I heard a voice saying, you’ve awoke, I’ll get the doctor. I was still coming too when a doctor arrived with a nurse. Good day Brian, nice to see back in the living. What hap, how did I get here. The doctor told me a tale of how I had been in a terrible car crash, that I had been brought in barely alive, but thanks to a great surgeon I had made it, and for the last five days, lying in a coma. One unfortunate turn up was my penis had been severed and never found. I lay there in silence, trying to take it in. Then the doctor said that I had been awarded a compensation package of £12,000, and that due to pioneering work, they could replace my penis, it would be roughly £1000 an inch, and that I should talk it over with my wife before making any decision, after all, he continue you wouldn’t want a five incher, if you had more, and she would be very disappointed if you had nine inches, and only bought five inches. Tell me when the two of you have spoken it fully.

It was a couple of days later that I manage to see to the doctor again. He asked, have you spoken to your wife Brian. I replied I had, that we discussed it fully and made a decision. And what would that decision be then, how many inches. None, I replied, we’re getting granite workgroups.


Bit the same as a couple driving home and she says"Do you realise we have been going out for 6 months today?". He thinks, “that’s right we met the day I got my car serviced, and come to think of it it hasn’t run properly since”. He goes silent and considers this. She thinks " oh my god, I hope he isn’t upset because I have mentioned how long we have been together". Meanwhile he is thinking “Bastar*s, they said they had carried out a full service and ever since that day it has been running rough”. He goes silent and she thinks that she has upset him and thinks that maybe she was I bit over expectant thinking of him as her saviour on a white horse. She therefore says, “sorry I wasn’t expecting a knight on a white horse!” He thinks, Horse! WTF? The rest of the journey passes in silence and he drops her off, vaguely aware that something has occurred. They go home to their prospective homes where he settles down in front of the TV to watch a tennis match between a Bulgarian and a Rumanian, none of whom he has ever heard of. He also has a beer. She goes home and phones all her friends, relates everything that happened, and they all arrange to meet next morning.

Next day she, and a dozen of her friends dissect everything that was said, every facial expression, ever nuance and every tone of voice, coupled with possible hidden meanings.

He, meanwhile, plays squash with his best friend and asks him, " you have known Angie longer than me. Has she ever mentioned a horse?"

And that ladies and gentlemen is the difference between men and women.