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losing all my skills

I’m trying my hardest but feel as if i no longer have the energy to do anything, i have direct payments so get help with cleaning and coping with house work ect and just to be a mum, but i’m feeling increasingly inadequate my meals for example are rubbish as my daughter told me today…she is autistic so what should i expect…but the truth kind of hurts and if i attempt to do anything more than oven chips or pouring a jar over chicken it goes disastrously wrong. does everyone else feel this dreadful fatigue, where even the simplest tasks ae exhausting and usually go wrong.

Michelle

Hi Michelle

MS fatigue is a bummer, so debilitating and can be demoralising, and its made worse if you try to push on, the only thing to do is fest, rest and rest more.

I really appreciate with all you have on your plate, this is so difficult to do, so I am trying to think of things that could help you, I know there is medication for fatigue, but I have not tried it so can’t comment on that, but someone else will know I’m sure.

I do a lot of meals in a slow cooker, just chuck it all in together, turn on and leave, and it is ready when they come home. Another suggestion would be to try Wiltshire Farm Foods, these are frozen, delivered weekly to your home, and my neighbours tell me they are nice and tasty, and you just pop them in the microwave.

Hope this helps, thinking of you, and please don’t be hard on yourself, you have got aan awful lot to cope with ((((hugs))))

Pam x

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Hi Michelle, my sister visited me this afternoon and asked how I am on daily basis… and I answered I’m ill. I’m ill all of the time. I never feel well. I’m always tired and too tired and ill to even get dressed let alone go out.

So yes, I do know exactly how you feel.

I’m very lucky in that I live alone… well not alone as I have Dickie… but I only have to open a pouch for him! I don’t know how I’d manage if I had children to cook for.

As it is, I buy in frozen meals from a company called Cook who deliver… and the most I have to do is do some frozen veg or some frozen mash or microwave rice.

But of course that comes at a cost which I can afford as I live alone and pay for it out of my DLA.

If I try to cook from scratch I usually end up in tears as I get it wrong and I drop things and it’s just too bloody exhausting!!!

I don’t know how to advise you… but I do want you to know that you are NOT alone with this dreadful fatigue and inability to do the simplest of tasks.

I hope it at least helps a bit to know that others feel the same.

Buy as much ‘heat up’ food as you can and try not to feel guilty. You’re doing amazingly well dealing with everything you deal with and having this relentless disease.

Pat xx

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Hi Michelle, I totally understand were you are coming from I have 5 children one with special needs it is so difficult to juggle everything.

Pams suggestion about the slow cooker is well worth taking on board, I use mine all the time and I double up on practically everything I cook, and then freeze half for a bad day. I find stews great, one pot throw all the ingredients in, or if very fatigued do it in stages throughout the day. Another standby is homemade pasta sauce really easy to make, loads of recipies on line, I get the older kids to help me chop the veg, and cook a very large pot ful, enough for 5 or 6 dinners and freeze it. If your having a bad day you only have to take it out of the freezer, defrost it and add a bit of cheese and garlic bread, all my kids love it.

dont be so hard on yourself, you are not superwoman, if you feel the dinners are not what they should be give them fruit and yogurts to supplement their meals.

ann x

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Hi Michelle. Sorry to read you’re having a rough time.

For fatigue, I’m currently on Amantadine which I’m not sure if it works but I felt more tired when I stopped taking it. Like Pat says, I mostly use ready meals that go from the freezer to the microwave or my Mam prepares something simple that I freeze.

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Hi Michelle,

can you get the kids to help with the cooking and maybe your husband too, my partner has taken on a lot of our cooking these days and hes good too,i still cook if i feel up to it,but when i am not well i dont even attempt it, in winter we use the slow cooker a lot,and i manage to do homemade yorkshire puddings,and i still bake too when i can, i love baking when i can it relaxes me,i know how you feel though, just the other day i tried making bacon and eggs, and made a right old mess of it,i ended up in tears,and thew it in the bin.

Have a word with the kids and try get some help when you need it,and try not to stress over it,easier said than done i know.

J x

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Thanks Pat,

I tried buying ready meals some are okay , its just i feel guilty not doing what i used to do…but like you say its too exhausting.it makes me feel better to know i’m not alone. the Marks and Spencers dining in are quite nice…but sometimes just te effort of setting the table wears me out. the best meals are fish and chips in the paper…No washing up!

Michelle x

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Thanks Ann,

I’ll try that iv’e got a slow cooker in fact i used to get my Carers to chop up the veg, I’ll have to go back to doing that.

Michelle x

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Hello Mr Grumpy…I’m sure your not grumpy you sound very nice…and your Mam sounds lovely…Iv’e forgotten what my mums cooking was like , iv’e been the mum for years and feel like i should be making the dinners…unfortunately this awful illness takes away any energy… i will try ordering the ready meals again. perhaps i should go for the “Extra special” or “Finest”

Michelle x

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Good idea Mrs J, Lee is quite a good cook, he’s just been so busy a work, so i feel bad asking him, Molly loves cooking but she leaves one hell of a mess! and she hates cleaning up. I know what you mean about the bacon and eggs, iv’e done that thrown it all in the bin or Frazers bowl I used to love baking but even that makes me tired… i’ll probably feel better again soon i’m just sooo tired its been a long six weeks holiday i’m sad to see them go back to school but i’m glad to get some rest too.

Michelle x

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Thanks Pam,

you say such kind words. I used to be able to do loads…just not anymore

Michelle x

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Sorry you’re struggling so much at the moment Michelle…I think it takes a while to come to terms with things every time this wretched disease takes yet more away from us.

My husband does all the cooking! When he was away once I bought meals from Cook Foods, on Pats recommendation, they were delicious…I’d say restaurant standard and the range is massive.

You do a great job Michelle…taking your children out and spending time with them…I don’t know how you do it! Try not to beat yourself up!

take care Michelle,

Nina xx

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you need a good long rest after these long,long school holidays,make no wonder your worn out,with all you have to cope with,be kind to yourself do what you enjoy and rest,rest,rest and you will feel better soon and be able to do more than you thought possible,everything gets too much for us when we are frazzled and stressed,and i remember having to cope with the school holidays and boy were they hard,my daughter was and still is very demanding.

a few weeks of resting and de stressing and you will be on here saying how much better you feel !!!

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

J x

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Michelle, Michelle, Michelle…stop being so hard on yourself…last time I read you were hiring beach wheelchair and contemplating new bikini, which suggests if nothing else you have been living your life and good for you. But… I am sure your body is shouting stop from such exertions, plus ms, plus kids, plus lee, plus good old Frazer, so cooking isn’t great but you feed the little darlings.

my kids ( not autistic) are still miserable little so and so’s at feeding time, don’t listen to a word, you’re doing great, and they’d complain whatever. Some good hints above, I also like bought pies ( I buy chilled rather than frozen) but whatever plus fresh or frozen veg-decent meal and all eaten. Anything one pan etc. go frozen whenever needed I’m information easy life , i can still lift not too heavy pans, and sit on stool in kitchen during cooking, good old pasta etc, baked potatoes.

totally agree with comments above, school hols do take it out of you, take it easy xxx

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Hello Michelle.

There’s nothing I can really say which hasn’t been said already, but those school holidays are long and arduous affairs. Big pots, help from the children and big freezers seem the best way ahead. If you like doing a bit of pencil and paper organisation (or on a laptop/tablet) you could do what the school meals services do and work off a three week menu system. Different types of meal could be colour coded and marked appropriately in the freezer. (That’s the teacher in me coming out.)

I can still do some food preparation from a sitting position and use a lot of special stuff to help me chop and slice etc.

I’ve always had great admiration for parents of big families. It’s even bigger for mums with MS who’ve had to deal with their own issues on top of everything else.

The MS boat is a big boat with a lot of passengers. Thank you for sharing your feelings.

Best wishes, Steve x.

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Thanks Steve,

you say such kind words…it funny i was thinking about what you said with the school meals and writing down a menu, its good advice Molly autistic daughter is very visual so I might draw some pictures…I’m no artist though!..but i think that is half the problem…the school dinners are well…far to good and so much better than what i make… i think its given Molly a taste for the finer things in life …my simple repetitive meals just don’t cut it anymore. Anyway thanks for the good advice Steve…and its lovely to be appreciated by my friends on the forum…The ride on the ms boat as you put, it has been choppy…and i’m feeling sea sick.

Michelle x

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Ah Thanks Slug…Pies thats a good idea, I have a perching stool and although iv’e heard a lot of negative comments I love mine. Iv’e not been away to Scarborough yet , we go in October…just Me , Lee and Frazer for a weekend. Its our wedding anniversary in October so its a special treat…I’m still thinking about that bikini…just for the fun of it!

Michelle x

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Thanks Mrs J…yeah give me a few weeks and I’m sure I’ll feel better

Michelle x

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Thanks Nina,

I really appreciate your kind words, Lee’s actually a very good cook, he’s just been overwhelmed with work recently, and it hasn’t helped because my Carers have both taken time off, Its funny when they had a few days off it made m realise that i couldn’t go back to doing it all myself… But thanks for saying that i’m doing a “great job” I love the children and the time with them is so precious, i’d much rather be having fun with them than having a perfect house and making perfect meals. We can’t do it all.

Michelle x

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Ann, I listened t what you said and went on line and got one of Jamie Oliver recipes it was an easy peasy one for Lasagne…I sat down on my perching stool and made it and it was so quick and they loved it…So a Big Thanks for the inspiration.

Michelle x

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