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Lets talk about sex...

I wanted a little rant about this. It was one of my first problems with MS 9 years ago and no med or anything does the trick. They never believe this is coursed by MS (doctors, neurologist and nurses).

When ever I have sex it don't go far as as soon as it goes in should I say, it feels like someone is stabbing me and putting a blow torch up there :(

So this courses so many problems with my b/f he says I'm a lesbian now as I never want to do it... I also never feel up to it because I am tired and all sorts.

Why is it I get all the neurologists and doctors that think that MS doesn't course pain :(

 

 

That sounds like vaginismus which can be caused by a number of things but the problem is that the more you think its going to happen the more it does til eventually you don't want to do it at all as you know its going to hurt.  In the mean time get a proper check down below, smear test etc as pain during intercourse can be related to cervical problems, or he could just be a really lucky big boy and he forgets that its not how big it is its what you do with it.  Or just for a laugh as my mum always told me "short and thick does the trick, long and thin goes right in"blush

I think they are too quick to get psychological sometimes. Bit of a dilemma really - if it is MS/nerve pain related, you could try a cream with an ingredient to dull the sensation, but where's the fun in that! However, as ggmarch suggest, even if it started this way, it has probably developed a psychological componenent because a strong expection of pain leads to tensing up and this make penetration both diffcult and painful. I suppose the positive side is that if the initial problem is due to MS, it can eventually recover/go away. The difficulty, is to establish where exactly you now are at. Could you try a different position? I had a gf who used to tense up badly but we found that this had much less impact with 'doggy' and would 'open the lock' till she got over it. Alternatively, some solo practice with a suitably shaped toy (start small) and lots of lube and perhaps without the frustrated attentions of someone else, would help establish where exactly things are now at.

ggmarch, youre little sayings made me chucky :)

Thankyou both for the advice I like to hear other peoples ways of doing things :)

I got this problem a the month after I got MS 9 years ago.

I have tried loads of Lubs and had loads of theropy over this were a nurse gave me a massive (dildo). LOL

None of this works at all and it just gets worse and worse... 9 years ago I was told by my MS doctor that this is the nerves downstairs that lock and he had seen this in a few cases with MS. This neurologist was said (don't hold me to this) to of been the best one in Britain in 2003 but he moved to another country and I couldn't have him anymore :(

 

Just wondering whether you have been thoroughly physically checked out by an appropriate specialist (other than therapists and neurologists) in those 9 years. Presumably there are a whole host of physical factors that can cause this type of pain that should have been checked for.

I have my smear test every three years with nothing wrong if that is what you mean?

Well beyond that. For such a debilitating condition I think you definitely need to get all physical possibilities that can be, ruled out in the hope that you get somewhere and can get on with this part of your life. For example, just Googling I see things like endometriosis, vulvodynia, fibroids, ovarian cysts  etc as possible causes and I would think they are well outside the area of competence of neurologists, and certainly therapists. I guess the most obvious specialism would by gynaecology, but then what do I know, I'm a man!

This isn't a permanent fix, however, if you and your partner want to have sex you could try using a desensitizing gel rubbed into your vagina that will numb the nerve endings and reduce or possibly eliminate your discomfort. Remember your partner will need to wear a condom or he will also be affected.

Most sex sites sell "longer lasting" gels which essentialy numb the skin for prolonged intercourse usualy for men but the gel should work equaly well for you. Use a gel not a spray, the act of having it massaged in will help you know when or if it is having the desired effect.

morning, I've been having problems too, mine was sometimes painfull during intercourse, then if all was ok that way, I had a stinging feeling for days afterwards, sometimes highteen feeling in a delicate area, and then sometimes nothing at all, went to see my GP because I thought maybe it was thrush, see examined me, NO not thrush, see felt it could be more nerve damage, check with the MS nurse, now she wasn't sure, so she spoke to the MS nurse in Brimingham who specalises in sexual problems in MS, and people can and do suffer from problems of this nature, not alot can be done, they said maybe using lupricates, and or a cream from you're GP called I think, Lignocaine, apparently this numbs the area, sorry to go on, and about my awful spelling, but I hope this helps, take care, Jean x

I wondered if it all checked out ok, but if your smears are coming back clear then its unlikely to be a problem with the cervix.  The is probably a bit much but how does it feel when they put the speculum in?  Does it go in easily or do they struggle with this too?  Now I feel like I've really stepped over the mark, and perhaps we shouldn't discuss this on here in full view of everyone!  PM me if you want to say anything more.

Well if you mean when they are doing the test for smear? this year they struggled lets just say and said it shuts down... ok no more I may over step the mark too.....

Greenhouse those symptoms ring a bell. Also I saw no spelling problems :)

Okaaaay (trust me I'm a nurse, although my area of expertise is the eye), sounds like it could well be what is termed vaginismus.  There are lots of helpful websites about it.  There are plenty of talking about it therapies available too.  But have a look at the websites and see if that helps.  Might help you get back on the horse blush