Forum

Kick up the backside

Hi everyone hope all ok Haven’t been on here for a while buried head in sand and just went through motions Had to see neuro psychologist in week and she made me realise I’ve become very isolated,close friends and family I’m easy with (they love you no matter what) but local people I try to avoid (don’t want pitying looks) But I can’t shy away or you go crazy So I’m off to get a paper Thanks for listening to rant Steve

Hi Steve, good to see you on here. Well it’s very easily done… just seems easier to stay in sometimes but it is not good for you. I mean it’s of course ok if too unwell to go out but on those days when you can it’s good… otherwise yes, you go crazy… esp if you live on your own. Ignore pitying looks… and if you think about it, the more people see you out and about the more you’ll just become a familier sight and pitying looks will stop. And when you think about it, however disabled we are, we’ve got as much damned right to be out there on the street as anyone else! Get militant! Refuse to hide from the world!!! (I’m saying this as much to myself as to you Steve). Pat xx

Laugh about it, you will confuse them and enjoy the look on their confused faces. I go out of my way to reassure people I am human just like them. Put a smile on your face and concur the world.

When you think about it who is looking out those who look on in pity can go home and do what ever they want you need to get out there show yourself to the world the world Needs you be an ambassador for the disabled.

Don’t forget the smile

Hi Steve

Good to see you on the forum. Its so easy to get isolated and it then leads on to a feeling of depression and loneliness, which is not good.

I know it is easier said than done, but it does do you good to get out amongst people, don’t take any notice if people stare, you will be surprised how quickly you won’t take any notice of them.

Give it a try Steve, you go for it.

Pam. X

Thanks for your comments guys

Go Steve!

It does rankle having to spend a lot of time indoors now the weather is sort of improving.

In winter, forget it! Going out is like landing on an alien, hostile planet, for me.

Kev

It’s true what has been said, people get used to you and don’t even notice your symptoms after a while. I live in a village where everyone knows what you’re having for tea before you’ve defrosted it. When I first got ill, needed a stick etc everyone asked how I was doing, have me the pitying looks etc but now if anyone even notices I’m not aware of it. Just after my neck surgery I was really self conscious about my scar and mobility issues but now that I don’t care nobody comments on them. I refuse to hibernate but there’s nothing wrong with having time on your own too, it’s just finding the balance. It is a nuisance having to get out sometimes but I always feel better for it.

Cath xx

In the winter I tuck up and hibernatemy face goes like this smilie

But now I am out talking to lamp posts and traffic cones even the occasional person who foolishly stopped at a bus stop serves them right me thinks

UP AND ATT EM

Hi all, Don’t you think it’s funny the reaction of people you haven’t seen for a while. I bumped into someone I was at school with the other week ( which is more years than I care to remember) she hadn’t seen me since I started using a stick. Of course the usual " have you hurt your leg". I explained I had ms and I was gobsmacked at her reaction she couldn’t get away fast enough, she had no idea what to say to me. I am the only disabled staff member in my store but I don’t really notice stares anymore I am too busy getting from A to B without falling over. Steve get out there and enjoy the sunshine even if it is an effort sometimes Wish I had smilies on this iPad. Take care. Mags xx

Hi Steve

I know that feeling, there;s so much coming to terms with it, that other people’s comments, looks etc. can just be too overwhelming sometimes, hiding is just much more comefortable sometimes!

Take care

Sonia x

Hi Steve - people joke about my stick - and it was even worse when the right hand side of my face went blue and my eye swelled up after a fall. The comments about. Telling them if he hit me again, and giving him a black eye were innumerable. He just used to laugh and say he was right-handed so it was the wrong side. Since using my mobility scooter, people have been more careful about what they say - sometimes they feel awkward and I just try to act as normal - but I am finding it a steep learning curve. But I do feel we should go out there and show others that we need them to enable us to join in the same as they do. Take part in social events just as others do. But it is also nice to just relax and breathe deeply at home. Take care and smile at everyone so you don’t get ignored or pitied. You are you still you. Let your personality shine out. Jackie x

The thing I’ve noticed about going out in a wheelchair on the High Street (Stony Stratford) or the shopping mall (Milton Keynes) is this: There are two types of people in the world: The ones who totally ignore you and virtually force you to wheel round them instead of stepping aside, don’t open doors or hold them open for you, and generally make you feel invisible. Well, sod 'em!! The others who do step aside, open doors, move chairs, generally notice you and try to help. Occasionally this is done in a condescending way, but usually in the spirit of human kindness. Bless 'em!! Kev

Hi KeV

On a lighter note, none of the “chuggers” ever bother me, I reckon they must think cos I am in a wheelchair my brain does not work! lol. So I tell my friends and family if they don’t want to be stopped and pestered…stick close to me.

Have a good weekend, football tonight…yippee…come on England.

Pam x

[quote=“skippysprite”]

Hi KeV

On a lighter note, none of the “chuggers” ever bother me, I reckon they must think cos I am in a wheelchair my brain does not work! lol. So I tell my friends and family if they don’t want to be stopped and pestered…stick close to me.

Have a good weekend, football tonight…yippee…come on England.

Pam x

[/quote] Something else I’ve thought of- nowadays on the rare occasion we go to a gig, I’m happy to approach and chat to the artists when they emerge after the show to mingle with their public and sell stuff. Somehow I feel able to do so now I’m in a chair, I’d have never done it in the old days, too reserved, but now it’s great because they can’t possibly ignore a poor benighted wheelchair user, can they? :slight_smile: Good thought about chuggers. I’ll watch out for that effect. As for the football, now I’m so stuck in my armchair I reckon I’ll see every televised minute of the upcoming surfeit. Kx

Hi KeV

You see there are advantages for us!

Enjoy the footy…I will, can’t wait.

Pam x

I haven’t noticed pitying looks when people see me using my walking stick. I have had curious looks and last week in Switzwerland I got a couple of disapproving looks but as they were from strangers I just ignored them.

I think that developing a thick skin helps and also a streak of pigheadedness: this disease is not going to stop me doing the things I want to do in life, whether that is nipping to the local shops or travelling on the Orient Express (something I am intending to do in the next year or two).

i have a sticker for the back of my scooter,two tarten fingers that says ‘UP YER KILT’

thats what i think lol…

J x

Love your sticker Mrs J.

Mitzi, good on ya…you go girl.

Pam x

Other advantages in using mobility scooter or wheelie… 1) You can go right to the front of the queue in Primark 2) You can go right to the front of the queue in post office (though some people in queue will give you filthy look if you’re on mob scooter) 3) You get the best front row view for feeding the penguins at London Zoo 4) Errrr ummmm can’t think of any more… but I know there are more… what have I missed out??? Pat xx

[quote=“Snow Leopard”] Other advantages in using mobility scooter or wheelie… 1) You can go right to the front of the queue in Primark 2) You can go right to the front of the queue in post office (though some people in queue will give you filthy look if you’re on mob scooter) 3) You get the best front row view for feeding the penguins at London Zoo 4) Errrr ummmm can’t think of any more… but I know there are more… what have I missed out??? Pat xx [/quote] You’ll save a fortune on shoe leather… Jan