I was getting rather annoyed in Argos yesterday, it was very busy and the poor staff were working their butts off. Anyway my goods arrived for collection (as did many other’s), I struggled to the desk quite slowly and wobbily and the other customers virtually pushed in front of me and I stood there whilst others were served in front. It almost seemed that they were worried that I might get some sort of concession because I obviously have something wrong with me.
Now I’ve noticed this before, when I’m struggling on my sticks, people tend to be dismissive and annoyed, when i 'm in my buggy, they are kindness itself. I have tried to work this out being something of an amateur observer of human behaviour.
I don’t expect any answers but at least I’ve got it off of my chest.
You’re so right Wendy! I first started using a stick because I got fed up with the looks I got wobbling down the street. I’ve moved on to a chair and by the most part people are very helpful. I love when kids at work ask me why I use a wheelchair, they are genuinely curious but their parent get very embarrassed. Thing is they are only asking what the parents are thinking! Sara x
I’ve recently been using a stick for the first time due to recent relapse, I mainly need it stop me looking like I’m drunk in the middle of the morning! I’ve had a mixed reaction some people get out of the way, some people seem quite bloody-minded and make a point of NOT getting out of the way, get the pitying look quite often but the worst has be when it gets accidently kicked.
I’m definately not assuming or expecting special treatment because of stick or MS, but before I had any probelms I’d GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!
I’ve also noticed a difference in people’s attitude towards me from on a mobility scooter to being in a wheelchair. They are much kinder to me now I’m in a wheelchair.
I think shopping centres have a lot to answer for in that regard. I think the shopping centres who provide mobility scooters should also provide a lane for their use. I’ve been bashed on the ankles a few times by those who are only using them for the day. So I’m inclined to be more wary of scooters than chairs. Not so much out on the street but definitely where they are for rent (theme parks or shopping centres).
I don’t use either as I’m only newly diagnosed but I would always get out of the persons way if I see them. Some people are just rude to everyone. I’ve seen my ten year old pushed out of the way by adults, or if she is queueing for something some adults will step in front of her. I’ve been teaching her she has to speak up for herself and not let people push her around. There are some people out their who’d trample their own granny to get ahead
I think people need visual, recently took car into Arnold Clark to fix my steering I have hand controls in my car , where did they park it at the furthest part away , my friend said you where too slow and you should have told them to bring the car to you, anyway they still hadent fixed it properly, so decided to go to the AC garage that was a bit nearer to me , this time took my stick and they could not have been nicer, also my brother-in-law was on holiday recently he is in a wheelchair and all he did was moan about people hogging the lift, but these people could have had health issues also a lot of the times i look fine just wobble a bit they dont see the other stuff that is going on like i need to go back to bed now as i had a bad night last night and afraid I have run out of ‘spoons’
So afraid we need to be more visual for folk to see the issue
Thank you for your replies folks and trish I am now using the buggy where ever I can, as you said people don’t know my legs are giving way and my feet are burning. It can be a loss though as I have to admit I am not ‘NORMAL’, but then I never have been mainstream as my family and friends would tell you.
The public will have to be quick to see me today as it’s the ‘Maiden Flight’ of my new ‘Veyron Powerchair’. 8MPH road legal I’ve fitted the number plate,so traffic here we come.A lot of blokes might have a mid-life crisis and the very fortunate may get the cheapest Porsche,but I’ve got the fastest most expensive powerchair through Motability.
I need a stick or crutches depending on the day, and what really gets me is that the ones to try opening doors or moving out of my way are the older people, a lot of them more doddery than me. I feel awful and let them go ahead telling them I’m slower, or can’t take their seats as I need to stretch my legs, bless them. Young children usually move too but a few teenagers, especially if they’re in a group and many middle aged people are the worst.
I went to a market that was aimed at the slightly wealthier people (just for a wander) and there was a posh woman in her forties who pushed me out of the way a few too many times until I “accidentally” hit her across the shins, she still kept on so I put one of my crutches on her foot with all my weight behind it. She’d nearly toppled me a few times and a few older people came up to me afterwards when she’d moved on and congratulated me as they’d seen what she’d done to me and pushed a few of them too. It was so unnecessary.
My husband uses the wheelchair as a weapon and uses it to push his way through crowds. It can be quite scary at times. On one occasion, people wouldn’t give us enough room on the pavement, so rather than wait for them to move, he pushed me along half-on and half-off the pavement, with one side of the wheelchair hanging over the curb and him lifting that side up to keep the wheelchair level. I’ve also had him push me out of the way as I’ve been going to get something, because he could do it faster and didn’t want to have to wait for me. Out and about, I’ve had no end of people stop dead in their tracks in front of me and I’ve run into the back of them with the scooter. One woman stopped, turned round and walked straight into me in the scooter. They only seem to notice things at their own eye-level.
Yes, don’t get me started hcd, those people who make sure they are in front when crossing the road and then walk slowly with the phone in their ear so can’t here me behind them b… annoying!
'Scuse my language but walking into some people!!!
Becky - I kicked my own stick quite a lot the first week or two! Like you, I thought it would a useful vision-aid that I wasn’t staggering around sloshed lol
hcd - I’m sure I will have my fair share of bruises when the time comes, my husband would definitely be much the same if pushing me
I have to admit, I nearly lost my temper the day before yesterday, I had an appointment at a hospital in Newbury, someone had stopped their car on the single track leading to the drop off point! My husband was cursing and had to drop me off at the bus-stop and meet me in there. When I realised what was going on I did glare at the man, if I hadn’t only got 2 minutes before my appointment was due, I would have gone over and told him what I thought of his selfishness, I refrained and didn’t shake my stick at him (purely as I couldn’t… rushing makes me more wobbly!).
It’s funny, I felt like I was really giving in when I got my stick but now I wouldn’t leave the house without it and it’s never been collapsed - despite being bought cos it would fit in my handbag
Whoops! 2nd sentence makes no sense… I was trying to express outrage AND disbelief about people being walked into - I really could do with an edit button!
Mary
