Sorry, folks, I’ve been trying to be strong but today I ended up in tears and I don’t reallly know why.
Stupid I know but I tried to manage without my stick as I only wanted to pop to one shop and it was about 60m away. I forgot about getting back to the car again and of course the town is heaving with tourists as it’s a beautiful day. Why, oh why, do they always seem stop dead right in front of me? It’s hard enough to get my legs going but it’s damned near impossible to do an emergency stop! It’s now my hip that feels dodgy, it doesn’t feel as if it is very strong at all and feels like it’s going to let me down at any time.
I ended up walking with a very pronounced limp and honestly felt that it was really visible. That’s the first time that I have felt that it was really obvious and yet still the tourists walk straight at me swinging cricket bats etc (and that’s the adults!).
I felt really vulnerable and shaky by the time I made it back to the car and just as I had thought I was making progress and didn’t want to get too reliant on the stick. I read somewhere the other day that you should manage with the least aids possible and I have got it into my head that some of my walking problems are because I have picked up bad habits by relying on the stick. I wish the physio appointment would hurry up.
Now I just feel stupid and miserable :’(. I really must stop being so impatient. I don’t even know why I am so upset. I thought I had come to terms with using the stick as it helps and I always knew that it was still there for bad days so that I can still get out and about when I need to so why the hell did I get so upset about realising that I cannot manage without it?
Answers on a postcard please …
Confused.com - Tracey x