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its a competition in our house

As the weekend draws to a close, I get a sense of life is a competition, particularly in our house at the present moment. The game is see how much we can p**s of each other in the house. Yeah I know that is very typical family logistics but when you are on the ebb in the first place, it all gets magnified many times over.

I think just being tired and fed up of the daily grind, that no one seems to be interested in looking after the house, everyone wants to do as little as they can get away with and the oldest seems to enjoy taking but never giving. What are you supposed to do other than search for a gun - ok I wouldn’t but the temptation might be high.

Ok I am just having a rant but cannot help wondering - maybe I should jump up and down and make more noise but that is not the way I work. Maybe I should point the nearest and dearest in the direction of this post.

Hey ho!

Hey Willie

I hear what you are saying loud and clear!

The way I handled it was go on strike! But you would have to stick to your guns!

Maybe slightly easier for me cos kids are younger (9 and 10) but I also did the same with my teenagers.

If the coal bucket is empty then I left the fire to go out. I ate when and what I wanted-kids made their own. They soon got fed up of cereal and toast EVERY meal! I only washed clothes that were in the basket-not any that were on floors etc.

It will annoy you for a few days but well worth it I would say.

As you say-its part of normality-perhaps its up to you (as the guiding adult) to gradually adjust them to a new normality?

Now my lot strip their own beds and enjoy the meals I provide!

Take care, theres always a solution, you just gotta find it!

Ellie x

PS before I am reported for using kids as slaves-its actually boosted their own self esteem and they are happy to help instead of leaving it ALL to me.

Ellie,

Looks like you have found the key to get the co-operation you need. Both my parents - were dog trainers - and l think they used the same ‘tecnique’ on my brother and l. Keep Calm - Stay Consistent - Do not Threaten - Do not Bribe - Do not Shout. Firmness and Fairness.

l know my mother only had to ‘look’ at us and we new she meant it.

On one occasion - that l shall never forget - My mum said that if l did not clear my bedroom floor [and staircase] of dirty and clean clothes/books/comics l would find them all thrown out onto the front lawn. l thought l would perhaps do it when l got home from school - or not! When l came home, on the bus,l was dismayed to see all my ‘things’ including dirty socks and underwear scattered over the front porch and lawn. l never dropped things on the floor after that.

lronically, lt was having dogs that cured my daughter of leaving her trainers/bags/books etc on the floor as they just got chewed by the pups. Expensive lesson to learn.

Frances.

Hi Frances

I am aware that my parenting skills are different from some!

For example-I have never ‘grounded’ any of my 4 kids because thats more of a punishment for me than them! On Christmas Day they get to choose what they want to eat-its the only day of the year that it happens (with the cereal/toast exception a few years ago!) Their friends are jealous cos they are ‘made’ to eat turkey or whatever. But we have a great day cos no argueing! I had rice crispies for my Christmas dinner one year!

Threats and bribes dont work in the long run and I found words said in a normal voice when they expect you to be angry have a greater effect!

Ellie x

Ellie,

WHAT NO SPROUTS ON XMAS DAY - whatever next!!!

Ellie,

WHAT NO SPROUTS ON XMAS DAY - whatever next!!!

Hi Willie, these are good replies you’ve had, I guess I do some things similar and some things different. My big thing is tidying up, if it’s left lying on te floor or the table I bin it, I know, but I don’t have to contend with things lying everywhere, obviously if something is being used and left out neatly that’s fine I leave it but for bit of paper, magazines, etc I bin them. My family also bring all their washing to the machine, I do cook separate meals if someone doesn’t like something as long as they say beforehand, I run past them what I am going to cook the day/week before. Ellie, I don’t ground anyone either and Frances I love your story, lol, although I’m sure you didn’t laugh at the time. But, Willie, how can we pull yours into line since they are older and set in their ways, and I’m afraid I don’t really know, so I’m not much help, sorry. Cheryl:)

Frances

Just noticed your reply!

I buy 3 sprouts for myself! (not to go with the cereal tho!

E x

Hi !..

This is very interesting…I guess kids don’t see that its the wee things in life that really matter. I do have some slovenly ways and as far my tantrums… I guess nobody is perfect (except me of course!). I just wish my eldest could do the dishes after cooking a meal or the other one …Why is it the youngest always spoilt !!!

Ever onwards…I hate it when my wife asks, What were you like? in an accusing tone…

Infamy, Infamy They’ve all got it Infamy!

Jonny