Forum

I'm sorry but moaning again

Some of might remember me posting a couple of weeks ago saying my grandma was ill and my auntie had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Well thankfully my grandma is fine now but yesterday my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer as well.
I have been feeling really bad this last week but now I feel guilty for complaining when she is going through that. I had decided to tell her about ms but now I can’t.
I keep thinking how much more can I take because it’s just one thing after another.
:frowning:

Oh nikkinakkinoo,

I’m so sorry. You are entitled to feel overwhelmed. The illnesses in your family have been relentless, haven’t they?

Just take it day-by-day and you’ll get through. Things will get better even though it doesn’t seem like it at the moment. Your mum will want to know about your MS but as you say maybe leave it for now.

Keep that chin up, we’re all behind you.

Teresa xx

Aww bless you x as you said - as if you haven't got enough to cope with already without this news !!!

You will cope though you know - there have been times in my life where absolutely everything has come at me at once and you just feel like going under - but I'm still here

sending lots of hugs xxxxxxxjenxxx

Thanks ladies xxx
My grandma is 92 and has multi infarct dementia so I know she hasn’t long left.
It was just a shock it being my mum and auntie within to weeks and I’m feeling really selfish because I did think what if it affects me too. How horrible is that!

Nik, I'm sorry to hear about Mum as well now. What a rotten time for you all.

But one thing that came to me - obviously you know your relationship with your Mum better than anyone but I am a Mum and I couldn't think of anything worse than my child going through something like MS and feeling unable to tell me. Us Mums aren't that fragile! I'd hate to be deprived of the opportunity to support/sympathise/hug/make loads of tea..... whatever is needed. I know she's going through hell right now (my Mum had breast cancer too) so it might not be the best time, but please think carefully about being 'strong' - you need each other now.

Wishing you and your family better times soon.

Val

nik,

I’m sending you a massive hug, don’t know what to say. Val is right though mums are not that fragile and I would want to be there for my girls.

lots of love, we are all here if you need us xxxx

I'm, so sorry Nik. Sometimes it feels like when it rains it pours. I decided to tell my parents about my issues then my brother got admitted with suspected meningitis and they my mum collapsed so it all was a bit crazy.

Whether you tell your mum or not is a personal decision. It might be something that brings you closer or she might be worried about you too much. Only you know your parents - though I will say that sometimes they can suprise you. I was worried mine were going to mollycoddle me but they didn't they've been very good.

Whatever you decide and whatever happens we're here for you. You can always talk about your problems/ symptoms and everything else with us.

Lots of cuddles

Reemz

X

I know I should tell her and I will but will just leave it a bit longer, we are going out for lunch on Wednesday for our joint birthday so will try and forget it for a day.
My parents live 100 miles away so I think she would worry more. I could tell my dad I was having my head grafted onto my backside and I don’t think he would react!
I just want her to be well
As always you are here for support, I don’t know how I would have coped with everything without you
Xxx

Your very welcome to post your worries and we are glad we can help you.

You are like me,I would not say anything with such problems going on around you,yes I know you want to share and to share makes us feel that little bit better.But I would see what the outcomes are first.

HUGS,Charlie,x

Aww so sorry to read your news, have a boazie from me too x

It helps to be able to off load here if no one minds.
At the moment I feel like I’m stuck in a revolving door with people throwing things at me.

Thinking of you Nikki.  What an awful time for you.

Keep offloading all your problems here and don't neglect yourself.  You are important too!

All this stress can't be helping your symptoms.

Sending ((hugs))

Teresa. x

So sorry that you and your family are suffering so much at the moment.

Life is so very unfair at times.

Take care

Clare x

So sorry to hear about what you are all going through. I've had an awful year with seriously ill relatives too. I can understand why you don't want to tell your Mum. However you have needs too and if you were my daughter I'd feel awful if you hadn't told me. Families like to support one another.

Jacqui x

Oh Nikki my heart goes out to you ((((hugs))))

I've had a few years in the past which have been 'constant'. Nothing quite describes how it makes us feel. You will get through it though and I just know that you'll be strong for your mum.

As to whether to tell her or not about your own health, that really is up to you. If you do then maybe now is the time. She's told you about herself being diagnosed with breast cancer and that kind of news is bound to have an affect on your health. Being strong for you may help her be strong for herself too? I don't know, you know best. You must do what you think is right.

You know where we are, so you offload as much as you want. That's what we're here for.

Debbie xx

Thank you so much for the support and advice. I have decided to tell her but not for a few weeks. It's our birthdays on Wednesday, she is getting her treatment plan on Friday then a week after that she is going on holiday so I'm going to wait until all that is done then will talk to her about it.

I may even have seen a neuro with a brain by then!!

I think those who said they would want their daughter to tell them hit home, I have an 8 year old daughter and I would hate it if she kept something like that from me.

oh gosh im so sorry hun..Its up to u whether or not u tell her as its your MS so u make the decisions.

Keep strong missy!!

Thinking of u xx

I am so sorry you are in this situation, and I think you have had some very good and wise advice. I was particularly struck by the point about mothers just wanting to know, whatever the news, and also by the fact that your mother has told you her bad news, and there would be something lopsided about her sharing her news and you not sharing yours. Perhaps she also went through a phase of thinking, ‘Can I keep this quiet and avoid worrying the people I love?’ She decided no, and I think you are right to come round to the same conclusion. May you be a great support to one another and both reach calmer and happier waters soon.

Alison

x