I'm not even going to attempt writing the title

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unusual.

  1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

  2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

  3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

  5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

  6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

  7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit… Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism . To steal from many is research.

  9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

  10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR’.

  11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

  1. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

  2. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

  3. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

  4. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

  5. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

  6. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

Spread the Laughter Share the Cheer Let’s Be Happy While We’re here!!

Love these. Defintely make you smile!!

Just an aside as Churchill is mentioned…His parrot died last year…Never mind “Pretty Polly”, more like “*issed Polly”.Must have been privvy to allsorts over the years.


Again Wb you make me smile and laugh!! Thank you

Cheered me up that. Just wish I could remember them to use when needed… But I know I’ll forget…! :0)

These are good. Thank you again for a chuckle.

Tracey x

Really good - wish I could remember them in the right situations. Jackie xx

Definitely made me smile I loved the end phrase, can’t find smileys so have to make do with old fashioned one ! :0) Sparkly x

I dreamt I was awake, and when I woke up I was, loved them will yes somewear. Lol

Sorry, will use somewear. Fat finger trouble.

Maybe The Paraprosdokians (Best Boy…wrote that in one with no peeping) will be one of those ‘Slug on the Wall’ un-reality TV shows.It would be compulsive viewing for those without a TV


All very good, as like frothy says, i wish could remember them, can ya find any more quote type houmor, luv it


Julien,may I humbly suggest you Google something like, ‘Winston Churchill quotes’.He was quite the wit amongst his other gargantuan talents.


Is it wrong that I love number 2 on that list?