Numbers 15 and 20 ring very true
2. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any.
3.No one is listening until you fart.
4.Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.
5.Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6.If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
8.If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. If you lend someone £10 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
13. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgement comes from bad experience … And most of that comes from bad judgement.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16 There are many arguments for reasoning with women. None of them work.
17. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse. Then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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