Forum

I Surrender!

Hi Family, I’ve been keeping up to date with the discussions & hope your all as well as can be expected. I’ve seen my MS nurse, booked counselling through my local branch, had my P.I.P face to face, living loads of family turmoil and accepted that after 3months of being back in work I can’t give what the job requires anymore cognitively and physically. I’m a wreck trying to keep up with it all. Taken sick leave this week indefinitely.

I would love to walk away if only I could taking my 13year old with me. Maybe I should and let them 3 adult children & so called partner sort out their own lives. Since I’ve become so affected by the MS in Jan im unable to do the Domestic tasks, lost interest in trying to please my partner & as you all know consumed by fatigue I cannot cope with the inconsiderations & selfishness of those around me, not so much to me but towards each other, which surrounds me,I no longer have the energy to play advocate, giver,lover& money tree.

How on earth am I going to find the strength to fight for peace & calm,

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Lots of hugs, wish I could come to yours with a big bottle of wine to drown our sorrows Don’t usually post very much & not on the ppms site as I don’t know what I have but I saw Noone had replied yet, maybe you need to tell them all exactly what you have told us And also try to speed up your counselling, its horrible when you feel like you are Being kicked from all sides. Thinking of you, takecare

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Hello Pollypocket

I hope counselling gives you the mental space to decide what future you want, for your 13 year old and yourself. Try and stay strong…I know that’s not easy when suffering constant fatigue. At the moment, it’s probably best not to think too far ahead until you have the tools to deal better with your situation…hopefully, counselling will help this process.

((((((hugs))))))

Noreen xx

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Hi Pollypocket,

You could have been writing that story for me to be honest.

I have a 12 year old daughter who is amazing, husband and teenager look after me, but nearly kill each other, and can’t see how this is effecting me??

I am sending you warmest hugs and as a fellow PPMS er I know how exhausted you are, I know the struggle when home isn’t the relaxing place it should be.

please do just tAke it one day at a time, please talk to someone about how your feeling, someone close, or your MS nurse or your GP or even women’s aid.

You can message me if you want to chat.

Polly xxx

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Hi Polly pocket

I so wish I had a magic wand to wave and make your life easier for you, but in reality I don’t, but we are all here to listen and lend you a shoulder, as sometimes just writing your feelings down can help getting things off your chest.

See if you can hurry up the counselling, as I am sure it will help you in the long run, but in the meantime is there someone you could talk to about things, perhaps your ms nurse or gp or ring the ms helpline?

Keep coming on here, we all understand, and please remember take one day at a time.

(((((Hugs)))))

Pam x

Pauline, I really feel for you and cannot imagine the stresses you are having to endure due to lack of sympathy and empathy from family members. The only thing I can think of is- have you and your partner go a mutual acquantance who you could trust? You might try to explain to him/her what MS does to you, and how you are struggling, and ask that he/she tries to go and explain to your partner?

I expect you’ve thought of this, and sorry if it’s a totally useless idea, but I’m struggling to find anything else useful that I can suggest to help you. Just talk to someone, as Polly says. And the people on here are with you in spirit.

Kev xx

Hi Pollypocket,

Now that you have taken sick leave I’m sure things are going to be clearer in your head.

Work really just washes you out and you can’t make any decisions when you have overwhelming fatigue.

Take one day at a time and with the help of councelliing things will work out for the best.

Families really do not have any idea what this overwhelming fatigue does to you and you can’t be bothered with all their problems as well as your own.

As for relationships, I know mine has been stretched lately. It certainly isn’t easy.

Take care of yourself

Mags xx

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I just ditto all of the above and send you a Hug from Margateand a smilie face to cheer you up

Don

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Hi Pauline,

I’m so sorry to hear what an awful struggle you’re having, wish there was more I could say to help you. I am sure the counseling will be an enormous help, can you get an appointment really soon? I hope so. Don’t try to put on a brave face when you go…I know how it’s almost easier sometimes to put on a brave face but if you do that they won’t be able to help you as much…you need to tell it how it is and how it all affects both you and your MS.

thinking of you, take care and don’t forget we are all here, sorry I was a bit late.

Nina x

Thank you all for your kind words, yes the forum is a great place to say how I feel without any kick backs. Your all right I am going to take one day at a time, I saw my g.p today he knows exactly how I feel he said he thoroughly understood and agreed my health comes before work and only agreed to sign me off in the first place because i seemed eager to get back to work and said at least you tried and no one can raise their eyebrows at you for not working .

i am an overly open person so no danger of not using the counselling to my benefit, which starts in a few days. Amazingly my twin 21year old daughters have been amazing today, even my 23 year old son with Aspergus has helped a little. I have shown my gratitude and said thanks cause no one argued. I think one of them must have read my post on here.

once again a big thank you xxxxxxxxxxx

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I’m pleased things seem have settled down for you, If they did read your post they probably got a shock And feel quite remorseful. Take care

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Hi Pauline, I don’t know how you manage at all. I live on my own and any little upset has me in tears and complete fatigue meltdown.

Are you able to talk to them at all? I can’t believe how stupid and selfish they are being.

Is there anyone else who could talk to them to explain how they are making your symptoms worse. This might be something you could speak to the counsellor about … if someone else could intervene and let the family know exactly what they are doing to you.

I can’t tell you how angry it makes me to read your post. Are the adult children unable to leave home?

Would you consider getting housing with the 13 year old? (I’m aware what a HUGE decision that would be). But that would also be something the counsillor could help you with.

It really sounds as if you’ve had enough Pauline and wish there was something I could do to help.

Thinking of you and sending you huge cyber (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

Pat xx

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Just read your second post… sorry I didn’t read it before… it sounds as if they might have realised exactly what selfish gits they have been (excuse me I’m sure they are lovely but they have been selfish gits!).

Really it looks as if things are going to improve for you. I hope they did read the post!

Take care,

Pat xx

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Pauline I’ve been off the site for a while and am so glad this are starting to look up for you. You’ve done right stopping work when you’ve accepted for yourself that you can no longer manage, it’s much better than being left wondering if the decision was correct. Your boyfriend leaving is for the best if relations at home improve afterwards and your kids are old enough to be helping you, not causing more work or stress. It’s just me and my daughter of 16 at home and she’s had to grow up quickly. Like you I did everything for her, trying to be super mum, working and then trying to compensate for the fact that I’m the only family she had (all my family were in South Africa as were the out-laws). It was really hard work and the more I did for her, the less she’d do for herself so I do understand.

To give her credit, she still has her moments but after much negotiating we’re at peace now and my life has improved greatly. There’s no reason your boyfriend can’t visit but you need your family to carry on helping. I hope things continue to improve for you.

Cath xx

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