Well after a very,very stressful few months,as expected i am in a very bad way, i have been feeling more and more weak and unwell for months now, i cant stand for more than a minute or so,if i try i just about collapse,i can just manage to get washed and dressed and thats my lot.
i wrapped 3 xmas presents this morning and after i finished i was a mess,and wished i had never started.
I have tried my best to stay strong and positive,even though my hearts breaking over my little grandaughter,but its all too much for me to deal with.
my partners due to have his hip replaced on 16th dec,and he thinks he might have to cancel due to me being so unwell,i told him not to cancel,but i don’t know how i am going to cope if he does have it done,theres so much going through my head at the moment.
i have some real bad episodes where i feel like i am about to die as i dont have one bit of strength left in me,it does pass after 20 minutes or so,leaving me so worn out.
i havent been as bad as this since a bad ‘do’ 3 years ago,and it lasted 4 months,i was bedbound,until i got going again,at least to the point where i could stand for a bit longer,and after a while i could do bits of housework.
each time i get as bad as this i fear i am never going to get over it,so i suppose i will just have to try, even harder.