MS Society UK | Forum

I’m new..

Hi, I’m Wazzy Carol, actually, but that’s what my friends call me. I was diagnosed in 1987, so am no stranger to MS, though around 7 years ago, the RRMS progressed to SPMS. I thought I was handling the changes, but I now know I’m not. The catalyst was when I had to stop driving in May 2020. I accepted the logistics, but not the emotional impact, that hit me hard earlier this year.
It took a while to figure out why I felt so sad and lost and kept bursting into unexpected tears.
I started talking therapy today and I’ve been tasked with reaching out to you and hopefully try and appreciate myself emotionally and not purely logistically.
That’s it, I think, as briefly as I can!

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Hi Wazzy
Really nice to hear from you and welcome to the forum. We’re a friendly bunch on here with a wide range of experiences so keep chatting.

I’m sorry to have to welcome you, but you’ll find that a lot of us have been dealing with MS for many years with varying rates of success and a lot of upbeat living. You’ll find that we welcome your thoughts and experience, and you can help the newbies to MS.

I understand having to give up the car. I still officially can drive, but I don’t do it very often because I’m no longer comfortable most days with my coordination. My usual driver is my grown son, but I use my elderly mother when he’s busy. That was a complete failure today, and I just feel bad about the whole thing.

Feel free to post about almost any topic you like, even things not related to MS. We like humor here!

I can understand as a car can give so much independence, and you can do things on the spur of the moment, don’t need to do much planning around trips out. Do you have a good number of facilities nearby that you can get to by other means - mobility scooter or such like, or are you pretty much dependent on others?

This is the first time I’ve discussed the MS impact with others, but I’m sure it’ll be a help. Thank you x

Yes, I do. I have a wonderfully supportive family and I also have an electric wheelchair for short hops and outings. I know I’ve been interdependent for around 6-7 years now, it’s more the impact the loss is having on me emotionally. I usually operate logistically, so when I had to stop driving, I made some logical decisions and arrangements. I thought I was dealing with it. I was, but didn’t consider the deeper impact and it was months later when I started feeling sad and would burst into tears out of nowhere, which is not like me.
With the support of a great friend, we figured that the catalyst for my sadness was to loss of what is my last piece of real independence and I’m working through it.

Hi Wazzy,

So glad you’ve reached out on here, I’m still very new on here but the supportive messages I had when I plucked up the courage to actually post, genuinely made me smile, feel happy and not alone. I hope you get the same feeling.

Not in your position myself but I was in a right state when I had to inform the DVLA of my condition, wait for the review to be done to tell me whether I could/couldn’t drive, change to a medical licence etc. and although I’m lucky enough to be able to still drive right now, the whole process and thought of not being able to do that tore me up…I cried so much, so I can see how this could affect you so much.

I suppose we never know what’s going to happen at anytime and I feel like it’s kind of going through a grieving process, so many different emotions and things to work through which all take time xxx

P.S Love your name :slightly_smiling_face:

You’re absolutely right, Sam. It is like a grieving process. I was diagnosed RRMS in 1987 and was able to carry on pretty much as normal during non relapse times. I’d always been completely independent so just got on with it. In the last few years that has changed to SPMS which has brought about many changes in my life. Thanks to family and friends I’ve moved to interdependence and am still learning x

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Sorry for the delay Wazzy, need to find an App for this site if there is one.

I can imagine that must have been, and it so hard to adapt to if you’ve always been independent. I know how I felt when I relapsed, needed help with day to day things like putting the washing in. I’d look round the house/garden, knowing what needed to be done but couldn’t it.

Everyday’s a school day it would appear with MS but it sounds like you’ve got great support around you and now on here too xx

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Hey Sam, sorry that it’s taken so long to respond🙄Yes, I do have a great support network in my family and close friends. But. There’s something deep in me that it do

……doesn’t help. My problem being that I’m not good at connecting with myself on an emotional level. We were emotionally neglected in childhood and it’s taken a long time to try an get in touch with myself and treat myself with some respect. One would have thought that I’d be in touch with what it is to live with MS, but I think I’ve been in some sort of denial, inasmuch as I haven’t connected with it properly; just considered it a nuisance to be tolerated. Now things have moved from RRMS to SPMS I need to connect and that’s why I’m here, i think. Thank you for your kind words in support x

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