i knew it was wrong.

I often wake up and have to squint to focus on the clock to see the time it’s old age and weak eye’s. I knew something was wrong after the third time of waking, I am possibly using the word waking in the wrong context, it’s more like that haze between sleep and the reality of being awake, a place where your subconscious is still dreaming but your eyes are operating but really struggling.

The clock said 23:38 for the third time and even in the state of semi consciousness even a dope like me knew there was something wrong with time and motion, after all time and tide waits for no man and all that. I realised something was drastically wrong. Time can’t stand still!

Finally I found the strength to emerge from my comatose state stretched out my arm and illuminated the room by struggling with the bedside lamp, I hate that thing.

I stared at the clock and the numbers said 23:38!!!

Either I was in a parallel universe or I had only been asleep for a few minutes.

I bet you have all worked out what I was unable to. My faithful servant had stopped and 23:38 had become its swan song. It’s gone up the ghost and gone to that place in the sky where bedside clocks go. I now know it’s next destination will be the council tip to take its rightful place in the council’s big hole filling scheme. Recycling ?? No recycling is to good for that Judas I want to know it feels the pains I have felt as it tricked me into thinking I was finally mad.

This is my ode to my useless clock.

Goodbye and good riddance. Where is the Argos catalogue.


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Morning Don.

Oh those little things which bring out our creative threnodies. After completing the operation to answer the door for one of many deliveries, I dropped my stick in the hallway. It’s not a big hallway and it’s not a big stick. But the ground may as well be the moon, such is its inaccessibility. Commence operation stick retrieval, during the course of which one realises the extent of those casual little placements of minor objects also located at ground level. Such are the untold joys of adding seven minutes to a daily chore. As you can tell, the mission was a success and I was able to return to the laptop.

Best wishes, Steve.

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Steve I am pleased you managed to retrieve it I have a similar problem with the power cable to the laptop. Once its down there it may as well be a million miles away but we are ingenious little critters when push comes to shove arent we. Back to the clock, Heather comes in and after much debate turns it on and off and the natural order of my world was restored. I could read the time listen to Chris Evans or a CD if the mood takes me. I can only assume a power cut at 23:38

Argos can wait


I enjoyed that story Don…Heather to the rescue

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I have trouble cracking my eyelids opendon’t think I can blame Argos or power cuts, how about MS, toooo obvious?

It’s 23:11 as I type this, I can’t close my eyes unroll I am past thirty eight minutes past , YAWN or that was the plan but the painkillers have just kicked in so maybe I will update you in the morning. It’s now 23:15/16 and I can’t stay awake another twenty minutes. X


Hi Don, I loved that. Made me laugh.

Glad the old clock is working again.

Pat xx

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Hi Don

This made me chuckle, thanks, and good job Heather came to the rescue!!

Pam x

Yep she is my saviour in so so many ways. I am now in bed listening to a CD of Simon and Garfunkel, guess who put it on for me? I can’t do sod all anymore even crossing the room to change a CD is to much effort. Still Liverpool beat Spurs so life ain’t all bad. X



I have a bedside clock with a facility to project the time onto the ceiling in red digital letters which I can read without glasses. I rarely read the clock face itself because I have to pick it up to bring it close enough to read.

When I wake for the first time in the night I press the big button on the top and read the time on the ceiling. If it is not yet 1am or God help me, not even midnight yet, I know it’s going to be a long one. Spasms, sleeplessness. Any time after 3 ish is great, I know I’m sleeping well. Wake Ruth up to help me turn, have a pee and straight on til morning! Lovely.