I don’t know what to do.
I’m so stuck.
I am married and have a nearly nine month old child.
My OH has MS and I have been his full time carer for 3 1/2 yrs.
We have carers that come in four times a day 7 days a week also.
They have ben coming for just over a yr.
It started as once a day but as time has gone on, it has increased.
I gave up my job bcos he said it was my job to look after him.
In the past 3 1/2 yrs his condition has deteriorated.
He is mentally draining me.
I feel trapped.
I have & own nothing.
I have no savings and no where to go.
Even wanting to leave makes me feel guilty.
Guilt is a terrible thing.
I know he didn’t ask to have MS but I feel like I’ve really allowed him to get away with too much for too long.
And now it’s too late.
The situation is what it is.
I tell him I’m struggling.
That I can’t cope with his unkindness, his moods.
His shouting and swearing.
Maybe it’s just that now I have our baby to think about-I value her more than I value myself and I do not want this for her.
I will not have this for her life.
What can I do?
I think about leaving all the time.
I just don’t know how.
Or if I can.
He’s dependant on me.
I don’t know if I can just walk away from an 11 year relationship.
But I don’t know if I can continue either.
I have explained to him until I am “blue in the face”
Today his response was “SO!” & “AND!”
What can I say to that?!
I on’t know what to do.