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Struggling to be a husband and a carer

I have been involved in my local branch for some time now and am a carer to my wife who suffers with secondary progressive M.S. I really need some advise as I am really struggling with our relationship and feel that I want a divorce. I have been married to my wife for 10 years and we have 2 children, I gave up my career some years ago to become her carer and we had to sell our house as we could not keep up the payments on it.

My wife works full time but it is the time when I am with her that I cannot handle anymore. We do not have any common interests anymore since her condition worsened and due to aspects of her illness she is very slow to react. She does not look after her self that well and I just cannot cope with it.

I am just wanting advise on how to cope as a husband and a carer. I feel totally stressed all the time and I am ready for just disapearing to get my head straight.

I am a caring man and believe a great dad but I am just struggling with my marriage. Any help and advise please.

You’ve obviously approached this with the best intentions and volunteering at your local branch, in addition to caring for your wife is just one indication of your sincerity and goodwill. It can’t have been easy to halt your career and sell the home.

There’s no denying that right now you’re in a stressful and emotionallly challenging situation, which requires objective advice based on a range of factors. It’s important that you don’t just abandon the situation through stress, as that would be damaging for your wife- and ultimately, for yourself. That’s a difficult scenario to return from/to and in the future, won’t help you feel any better about yourself or the relationship.

It’s crucial that you seek external help & assistance with the caring- and that you feel fully supported with some counselling in order to properly process your feelings. It might be possible that you could have some counselling together.

Please call our helpline on 0808 800 8000 where you’ll be able to share your situation and talk through these emotions with somebody trained & experienced in this situation.

They will also be able to point you in the right direction for local support and services.

It’s a good start that you’ve come on here to ask for advice- which I’m sure out forum users will offer, but it’s also important that you pursue some professional advice for the sake of everybody involved.

Good luck and take care

Stewart (admin)

Stewart (admin)