Help please

Hi all. Im writing to ask if anyone can help me my wife has had ms now for about 10 years and for as much as i feel guilty about asking im hoping someone might be able to give me some help advice. We seem to be having words off late and she informed me that im more of a carer thsn a husband now. This was upsetting but i just brushed it off i now feel upset about this has this happend to anyone? Also does anyone ever see a change in there wife just before she has a relapse? Mine seems to become very upset with everything i say or do shouting at me alot (how silly do i sound) So there you go now you have read this your most prob thinking stop moaning and man up lol but anyinfo will help

hi rob

my emotions can get messy when in relapse.

the medical name for it is lability.

might it be a good idea to get some outside help in, even if it’s just a cleaner for an hour, giving you quality time to spend with your wife.

poll has very kindly put details of direct payments on the forum and if it would suit your financial situation, give it consideration.

tell her that you’ve been fretting about what she said and then suggest an afternoon out somewhere nice.

your wife is probably pig sick of this damn condition and sick of needing help with everything.

you sound like a decent bloke so i really hope you can sort something out.

wishing you both all the very best

carole x

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Hi, maybe it will help if you read my post re Direct Payments posted here this week. I know how difficult life can be when a partner becomes a carer and it aint nice!


Hi Carole thank you for taking the time to answer. Im going to find out some info on lability. Thank You Rob x

Thanx for your answer im unable to find your post about direct payments and if its to do with claming any money then were not intrested but thanx anyway Rob x

Hi , my post is the 7th one down on this forum.

I didnt claim any money exactly, but I was means tested to see if I could contribute towards the cost of care.

I dont!



why do u think she only said that cos she’s had a relapse?

they can be very different roles but some couples are happy to take their part in both roles.

For me there is partner/hubby then carer-very different roles. But I am aware that there are many on here who it works for. We are all diff after all!

i have a brill example but won’t say it on a public forum!

pm me if you want further info and if u don’t then no harm done!


My husband family have lived with disability for the last 56 years, but they have an old fashioned way of dealing with it they take that persons dignity away, they have tried this with me and this is the reason why I will no longer be in their company , I feel I get hubby understanding then he returns to form resulting in a fight, maybe try and get help in, and your wife might feel more in control. Also remember she is dealing with stuff and she may be grieving for the life she had. I personally hate when people treat me as if I cannot talk for myself I am the same person but afraid I don’t have the energy to pamper to folk who are ignorant