Forum

How many Children?

Hello everyone, I haven’t been on here for a while as a poster/postee - not sure what you would call it. But I would really like some input from other people with MS. I have 2 beautiful children, 6 and 3, but I am desperate for another. I was diagnosed at 24 (symptoms since 21 after being involved in a train crash). I am 34 now. I am just wondering what other people have done and what their reasons were for their decision? How many children do you have and did you have them post or pre diagnosis. Any advice/info would be appreciated. Thank you xx

Hiya!

with a name like Chopper, talking about having children, makes me say…

ooooh missus!

Im sure youll get lots of replies to your post, as this is usually a hot topic!

Oh, I had my 2 daughters eons before becoming disabled…with something similar to MS.

luv Pollyxx

like poll i had my two sons long before ms.

they are 24 and 26 now.

i personally think that it’s a decision for you and your partner.

have a good chat about it now.

then speak to your ms nurse for her advice.

you may have to come off your meds and your nurse will advise on this.

good luck

carole x

Hi

I’ve a 10 year old girl and 8 year old boy, but was only formally dx in April this year with PPMS. I’m 43. I have not told them; just that I’ve got a bad back, which most middle aged blokes do…so no big deal, kind of “My Dad’s got a bad back so he can’t play football with me” from my boy, followed by several “Yeah, my Mum/Dad has a bad back too and keeps moarning about it etc. etc” from his friends. (Welcome to middle-age!). So every time I exprience difficulty with something I say it’s because of my ‘dodgy back’, which is actually partially true a lot of the time.

Just did not want to worry them at such an age.

Life goes on, just more slowly. They don’t really “need” to know yet.

hiya

i was diagnosed 8 years ago when my kids were 3,4,10, 12.

we muddle thru as a family-as everyone does! who knows what will happen tomorrow, never mind years from now!

i am bringing them up on my own-he left just before diagnosis-ms did not figure in that decision.

only you can decide-i reckon there is no right/best time to have kids. they just want/need love and basic needs meet-all else can be worked through.

ellie

I’m 31 and was diagnosed last year. I have one daughter who is ten, almost eleven.

I’m single so children aren’t really on my radar at the moment. I think if I met someone I’d like to have another child but I’d have to do some serious thinking about it because I’d have to come off my DMD and think about relapses and how we would manage if I relapse badly…also my 10 year old is very independent and doesn’t need much in terms of care (she can dress herself, feed herself etc) so I’d have to factor in whether or not I’d be physically capable of looking after a child.

That of course will all depend on how my MS progresses, how the DMDs work etc.

I don’t think it’s a choice to be made lightly but I do think that once you have good support, then you should have children if you want them.

Hi

I have two children both under two and both born since diagnosis .I was pregnant when diagnosed and we decided to have our second child as soon as possible so that I could start DMDs.

The second pregnancy in particular was hard work I think it was just too much too soon and I did have a relapse between the pregnancies which I didnt fully recover from. Labour was fine or as fine as it ever is but I coped and was really well looked after .I now feel better than at any time since diagnosis have started DMDs and things seem to be going ok.

Good luck with whatever you decide

Ellie xx

Hiya

Like Carole, I have 2 sons, aged 24 and 26. They were born long before my diagnosis.

Good luck with whatever you and your other half decide.

Shazzie xx

I have 3 kids. The youngest was born 4 months after the onset of symptoms. If i had choice i would not of had anymore childrrn had i known what was coming. I find it difficult to keep with him and though i struggle, i would not change him for the world

I had both mine before ms came along, but I think this is a decision that only you and your partner can make.

I wish yiu all the best with whatever decision you make.

Pam x

I have two children, 7 and 3, had both of them before diagosis.

I’m not having any more, I find two hard enough work plus I don’t want to come off my DMDs. I want to stay as well as I can for the two kids I already have and I’m scared to take any risks with that.

Hi there, I have four sons and was diagnosed 2 years ago. They are now almost 19, 17, 15 and almost 9! They are the light of my life and the best thing that ever happened tome.MS makes it challenging with four children but we all muddle through together! Teresa xx

I have 2 children aged 9 (nearly 10) and 6. Not planning anymore. Both before dx but since very first relapse. They would like a baby sibling but as my son wants a boy and my daughter wants a girl we got them a puppy instead! I believe my pregnancies reduced my relapses (had a very late miscarriage between them so was pregnant / breastfeeding for a lot of the 10 years between). So another pregnancy could be a positive in that way. Depends on your medication and whether you feel your family is complete I guess. Good luck! xx

hi im 26 was diagnosed 4 years ago . Have 15 months old boy :wink: While i was pregnant i felt amaizing after giving birth too no relaps at all and im not on any medications. Now i have small relaps… We thinking about second baby so im not going for drugs at the moment.

But i do think like you if i should have second one. i may not be lucky with second one and have relaps and how will i look after them…

Still i would love to have more kids.My son is the best think in my live . I dont feel very well now but he can make me smile …

Good luck

karolina x

Hi. I do not have any kids but would love to one day…I am 26. However I’m concerned about having ms and bringing up children? I’ve been badly effected with weakness in my legs…still praying I’m in relapse and will get better(it’s nearly a yr though)and worry wouldn’t be able to keep up with children as atm I’m just so weak all the time…how have others managed in this situation?

Also does anyone worry that their children could possibly get ms as I no they say it’s not genetic but it seems like it is…in my family Neway…

Xxx

Hi I had my daughter June 2012- awful pregnancy but i didn’t have MS then. I had my first MS episode Aug 2012. Lasted until Decmber. Was CIS due to having had only one event. I was then very well from January to June. Since then its been a downward rollercoaster. I have relapsed three times in 5 months. My diagnosis was changed to MS this summer. I am currently in hospital and will be starting interferon in the next few weeks after I get home. I had planned on being pregnant again by now or at least trying for another baby but with how everything is that is certainly off the cards. My neuro has said I can’t have another baby right now but that doesn’t mean I can’t have one in the future. I would love another baby. I hope he was right when he said I can try again in the future. He just wants to get me more stable now and I understand that. I know myself and it breaks my heart to know that, I’m not able physically to either get pregnant, be pregnant or raise another baby right now. I hope my daughter will one-day know the pleasure of having a little brother or sister and my husband have the pleasure of welcoming another child into the world. I feel like a bad mother and wife that I can’t do this for them right now. I do know it wouldn’t be fair on anyone for me to be pregnant again right now. I want to have the opportunity to experience pregnancy again. Even with MS this time it might be less complicated than the last time! I already have names picked for boy and girls and I hope that one day these babies will be real. For now I will just have to focus on my beautiful baby daughter and my lovely husband. I just hope my time will come. Best of luck to you chopper with your big decision. I posted something similar on this forum when I wasn’t so unwell about more children and received some very negative responses-don’t let this put you off. Love Lilly xxx

I had both my kids before diagnosis. I love them to bits and they certainly keep me entertained. They are 21 and 14 now. Good luck with your decision. Lynn

Hi, I have a four year old who I had 5 years after diagnosis . We were planning on another however I had a relapse dec last year which in my eyes was bad enough to make me worry about how I’d have coped with another baby and a young one had I had one. After a lot of deliberating we came to the decision to thank our lucjy stars we have one and leave it at that. I do still wish I could have another however then I’d rather be well for the child I have and not compromise that by having another. However ultimately its your decision and you know your body and situation better than anyone else. My decision was made on mine and ny feelings. We have great family support but I know id struggle personally if I had another baby and became so bad I had difficulties in looking after it. I wouldn’t be happy someone doing what I would or should be doing if that makes sense. Good luck ob what you decide and sure you’ll make the right decision for you xxxx.

Hi, I have 3 daughters 26, 25 and nearly 17yr old. After the middle one I was told I wouldn’t be able to have anymore, du to an infection caused by a coil. I’ve had MS nearly 18 yrs. when I was given the awful news of having MS in April, I wasn’t having periods, so I thought I’d better get checked out, so went to Drs, and there was my little Sydnie. I was 30, Born the following January! She saved me, having something good to focus on. I did relapse after she was born, but no worse than any other relapses. I have a friend who had 3 children before her dx, and went on to have another 2 after dx, as she feels great during and after pregnancy. The only trouble I had, was when Syd got old enough to understand my condition, she blamed herself, as I was diagnosed and found out I was pregnant at the same time, so she thought it was her fault, poor thing. My consultant spoke to her and eased her mind Xxxxx

Hi, I started with MS symptoms during my first pregnancy in 2000. Developed mobility problems after my second pregnancy in 2003, along with bad cystitis. Diagnosed with MS 2007 and told by my neuro that it was advisable not to get pregnant again. Hubby had the snip. Not sure if we would have gone on to have more kiddies, but my experience was that I was very tired and struggling to cope with mobility probs and constant cystitis and trips to the toilet without knowing what was wrong. Looking after two young kiddies was very hard work and I envy the other Mums who really enjoyed having young kids and could do stuff without being in constant cystitis pain or having to go to the loo every 20 mins. Now, at 46, I look back at all I did and wonder how on earth I managed. I think we all find strength from somewhere. Heather