Hi, im new to this but just wanted to ask a question.
My mum was diagnosed with RR MS 6 months ago and she has been having some difficulties doing certain things etc. I was just wondering what I could do to help her out? because she doesnt really seem to like talking about it so I dont know what to help her with, or what I can do for her because I just hope that she is okay but I want to do something for her, I know that its quite a broad question but I dont want her to be in pain or discomfort. Im really worried about her
thanks in advance,
Welcome to this wonderful site. The best thing that you can do is stay as supportive as you appear to be.
You don’t say how old you are. My children are 14, 12 and 10, and I ws diagnosed with RRMS last April. My eldest daughter does all the ironing, my youngest daughter does all the dusting and polishing and my middle daughter does all the hoovering.
My husband does just about everything else! I’m really spoilt.
Your Mam has not had her diagnosis for very long, and she is probably going through a whole maelstrom of emotions.
Just let her know that you are there when she needs you, and if she feels like talking. You could try just saying like, "Mam what can I do to help, and let me know how you’re feeling.
Hope this helps
It’s a bit tricky to say without knowing any details. And as she’s only recently been diagnoed, she may be in a bit of a denial phase so won’t want to talk about it, even if she’s struggling with stuff, as that will mean facing up to what’s happening. I reckon give her time. You could offer to help, but I wouldn’t assume anything or necessarily do stuff without her asking. If I’m out in public and struggling with something, I like it when people offer to help even if I don’t need it, but don’t always like it when someone does something without asking me.
It might be useful to read up about possible symptoms, and what can be done to help. You could maybe gentlyt suggest stuff, but definitely don’t try & force anything on to her. When she does ask for help, then you’ll be already armed with some knowledge to be able to best help.
Sorry i can’t help more
your mum probably isnt able to describe her ms yet.
it takes a while to understand what is going on.
my lovely neuro always put into proper words the garbled list of problems that i told him about.
my early symptoms were sensory - loss of feeling in my hands etc.
does your mum seem more clumsy? drop things?
does she seem to have trouble walking - we dont go from normal walking to suddenly not walking.
maybe you could watch her and guess what is bothering her.
you could ask her if you see her struggling.
peeling veg was suddenly difficult for me - i was going through plasters at an alarming rate.
so those kind of jobs would be a good place to offer help.
if she has started tripping a lot she may have foot drop, which can be helped by a podiatrist. my youngest son would steady me if he saw that i was especially wobbly.
anyway it would be good if you asked her about her ms, the topic needs broaching before it becomes one of those “we never talk about it” scenarios.
i hope this helps but i can only talk about my experience of my ms and we are all so different.
you sound like a lovely, caring son/daughter
My mom was dx when i was 5. When i was old enough to understand it a bit better I just used to help her out with things around the house like ironing, dusting, cleaning the bathroom etc just to show her Im there for her and would just listen when she wanted a good old rant. Since I was dx in June its been the other way round. I guess we just support each other. It might be worth asking her if you can go to any appointments to support her xx
Hi, how lovely to read how caring you are.
Are you living at home still? If so, you could help with the housework as much as possible.
If you are at home, just quietly watch how much does things and if she looks to be having difficulty, ask if she needs any help.
Dont just jump in as that annoys me, when I really want to do something myself and it is taken from me.
It is still very early days since your mum`s diagnosis, so allow her to have ups and downs that you dont understand.
Me again. Just had another idea…
does your mum know about thisw site?
if not, maybe you could tell her about it.
Hello, you sound like a really loving and supportive daughter, and I’m sure your mum is very proud of you. Don’t be hurt or upset if she sometimes gets a bit bad tempered, it won’t be personal, just part of the grief and loss we all feel. It takes time to come to terms with this diagnosis. Take care x
Hello, I agree with Dan; that it could be the case that your Mum is in a denial phase; I know that I had this when I was first diagnosed. I think that I would recommend that you just talk to your Mum a lot. This might help release a bit of tension that she feels, and it could be a way that you find out what your Mum is thinking. Six months is still very early though, so I doubt if even your Mum knows how all of this is going to affect you all.
Best of luck and talk lots.
Opps sorry, I said daughter as my mind was telling me your name was Liza. You could very easily be a loving son. Hope everything works out well for your mum!
Hello anon and welcome.
Sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis. I was diagnosed last year, my daughter is living with me and her dad for a while to help out. Luckily she runs her own business,so can work from home.
Basicly anon, she is a big help to me with all the practical things. She goes shopping with me…its nice having her to link up with. Does cleaning for me. Its just nice to sit with her and share a cuppa and a girlie natter. Just having her around in itself is comforting.
Just let your mum know that your there for her and keep checking in and seeing if there’s anything you can do.
Its early days for your mum, I’m sure things will get better. Keep coming on here and ask for help and support.