Hi everyone. I have a dear friend who has had MS since she was 19 and she’s 73 now. Had for a long time and now she is having so much trouble walking (she’s using a walker), comprehending what people are saying to her, and is just having trouble thinking.
I want to help her all I can, and have been working with her getting organized with things. I just don’t want to say the wrong things to her.
The fact that you’re there for her and trying to help will mean a lot in itself. Find out what she needs you (or someone else) to do for her. Don’t take the decisions away from her or overstep the boundaries in your attempt to help. My mother and daughter tried helping me when I was going through a bad relapse, and they wound up messing up my whole house and making a ton of work for me!
She’ll need patience but not pity. Don’t tell her that she can’t do something. She’ll let you know if she needs help. Now, if she’s making mistakes with her finances, that’s another matter. Let her get the rest that she needs and make sure she can fix and eat food. It’s possible that she could use some help with the dishes and laundry.
Has she signed up for whatever benefits are available to her? If not, that’s something that you could research and help with. It sounds like she might need some regular homecare right now.
We live in an assisted living facility, so her laundry can be done for her, but she wants to do her own, which is a good sign. As for her benefits, her daughter is her POA so she takes care of all of that stuff. I’m just there to be a friend. We go to the same church and the people there are fantastic to her. To get into the van that picks us up, she has trouble getting her leg up to get into the van. The driver actually lifts her leg to help her. They are great with her and let her do what she can, and are there to help her with the things she can’t. Thank you for your answers. It helps me a lot.