Hi Moomoo i’m sorry hear you are having a tough time. I can relate to what you are saying.
When I was in the middle of my first long severe relapse (and didn’t know what was wrong with me) I had depression and severe anxiety.
I have seen two psychiatrists and the first one was very helpful. I paid to see him privately as I was struggling to get my head around things, he was a general psychiatrist with an interest in neurology. Then I saw him on the NHS, then he retired from the NHS. The second psychiatrist I didn’t feel there’s as much of a connection, so I have requested to see another.
I am having cognitive behavioural therapy (different therapist) on the NHS and this has been very useful for me. For ideas I can draw upon when I am struggling and some mindfulness based ideas. I meditate every day which helps reduce my anxiety. Your appointment is nothing to worry about, they want to see how you are and direct you to the best people that can help.
I picked up a leaflet from the waiting room of my CBT sessions. It states one in four people (of the general public) will use mental health services.