Hello I’ve not been in the forum for a bit I’ve just been so stressed. I lost one of my carers and have really struggled. Ive interviewed a couple of people but so far haven’t found the right one. Lee says that we will know when we find the right person for the job , he’s interviewed people before in his job . I just feel so vulnerable it’s been so hard coping without enough support it’s not just me it’s the children and Lee that’s affected he’s had to do loads more. With Molly having Autism and being very messy and me being poorly it’s complicated I get scared I won’t find anyone. Michelle and Frazer xx

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Hello Michelle.

I’m sorry to hear of your current situation. My dad’s had a lot of different carers and never cared for any of them. It’ll be like when I applied for my last job. Everything seemed right and I stayed at the same school for 17 years. Funnily enough one of my shorter lasting colleagues did her final teaching practice at Weaver Vale.

But it must be so frustrating for everyone. Don’t forget how much people admire you as a mother dealing with autism. I certainly do.

Best wishes, I’ll wave from the train when I go past tomorrow.


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Hi Michelle

Sorry to hear this, hopefully that right person is on their way for you. Do you have to find one yourself, or can SS help in finding one?

This obviously is causing you stress, but try to stay calm as you can, ms just thrives on stress.

Fingers crossed that good news is just around the corner for all of you.

Pam (hugs)))

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Thank you Steve, you say the kindest things. I really hope that I end up with a good one. I was quite desperate last week and applied to a cleaning company for help. They sent two young girls and after seeing Mollys bedroom decided that it wasn’t for them. I cried when the chap who’d sent them told me that his girls didn’t have to come if they didn’t want to, apparently they’d seen the state of Mollys bathroom …need I say more! I felt so ashamed but cross as I’d told him I was ill and had autistic daughter. I used to have such high standards it’s sad. What time are you passing tomorrow? I’ll definitely wave. Michelle and Frazer xx sent from my mobile

Thanks Pam , The social workers don’t really help. The organisation that deals with the direct payments sent an adviser out but they like you to find your own, they don’t want to be responsible. The social workers would get me agency staff if I was desperate. It might come to that if I can’t find someone soon. I’d prefer to find my own as they send different people with agency and they often have there own ideas about what you need. I’ve had a busy day today I was in hospital having an iron infusion. My anaemia is really bad. Frazer was on the ward with me , he got loads of attention. Michelle and Frazer xx sent from my mobile

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Chin up Michelle. It will work out. I was just reminded that stress makes MS far worse. Your nervous system has more important things to do. The cool breeze of a fan is awesome & keeping the mind occupied on good stuff for every ones sake.

Treat yourselves to some pampering & retail therapy. Try clearing them air ways & chill.

Best wishes, Terry.

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Thanks Terry, this heat is making me feel sick. I bought a new fan so I’m going to hav3 a rest this afternoon under my new fan. Michelle and Frazer xx

Hi, oh I know how you feel, as I’ve just lost a carer too. But through very difficult circumstances.

My 2 girls were both self employed and I’ve just been told I can’t use self employed anymore…due to employers national insurance tax. If carers come on a regular basis, they can’t be self employed! HMRC rules.

Are your carers going on Direct Payments? One of mine left, she’d only been with me for four months. Due to less pay per hour, I’ve had to give my long standing carer all the hours to make up her wage.

I’ve had 4 carers since using them and each time one leaves, I find it traumatic.

This caring job is so personal and intimate that it takes a lot of getting used to.

I wouldn’t like an agency, but if needs must , then you don’t have much choice.

Good luck hun.


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Hi Poll , I’m not quite sure of what you mean .I have 18 hours a week direct payments and so far all of my staff have been self employed. It has worked well because they are my friends as well as carers. The difficulty I have now is replacing the carer that did 9 hours over 3 days. I paid to go on a site that has people looking for carers jobs but so far I’ve struggled to get anyone either they charge too much or want cash in hand. I was warned to be careful about self employed staff because if they don’t pay their tax I’ll be liable. I hope that we both find someone soon. Michelle and Frazer xx sent from my mobile



Thanks Don , I really appreciate your 3 kisses it made me smile . It’s funny just a kind word or simply 3 little kisses is enough to pick me up. I’ve been on the Care. Com site again today and although it looks like there’s plenty of carers on there actually getting one thats right for our family is the hardest bit. Michelle and Frazer xx sent from my mobile

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Hi, I`m going to PM you now. very important…