Hello all! It is comforting to see people in the same boat as me, though I wish MS upon no one. My mother was diagnosed early 2000s but she only started to deteriorate badly after my father died 7 years ago and more so in the last 2 years. I really struggle with guilt. I was away back and forth to uni for 4 years and have a real ambition to see the world, my mother is so encouraging in that, but I feel sick to my stomach the thought of leaving her here. She has carers but I know she suffers from chronic loneliness and poor mental health. I know she is so much more happier when I am here. I want to cherish this time I have with her now because who knows what the future holds, but at the same time I have no life in the area that we live, there is so much I want to do. Do I go follow my dreams or will I regret not spending my time with my mum when she’s still somewhat good? I feel so guilty knowing she would want to be out there with me but she cant. I grieve the life that could have been if it weren’t for this disease.
Take yes for an answer. Your mother is an adult and that is the respectful thing to do. Maybe her heart longs for you to stay, but she is determined be her best self and cheer you in as you make your way in the big world. Maybe you’re making it harder for her by dithering and tempting her to weaken. Who knows? It’s all guesswork. But you do not need to guess because she says go. Take yes for an answer. Good luck.
Hello BeHappy. A late reply from me and by now you might have decided what to do. However, I find my self wondering if there is some sort of middle position which offer opportunities to folllw your dreams for a period but also involves times with your Mum? When my Dad was ill, not with MS, I used FaceTime a lot . I lived hundreds of miles from him but called on FT once or twice a day and visited every 1-2 months.
I’m in my late 60s and Dad died last year . Everyone and every case is different but I would have found it incredibly difficult to have little contact or offer little support to Dad in his last 8 or so years