Caring for mum, support advice needed please!!!

My mum was diagnosed with MS last year. She has not had a relapse as severe as when she was diagnosed but experiences general symptons on a regular basis such as chronic pain, heavy limbs, lack of balance, fatigue ect. I (her 17 year old daughter) constantly worry about her. I am petrified at the thought of her being hospitalised again and hate the thought of her being in pain and not telling me as she doesnt want me to worry. She is a single mum with a demanding full time job. She is definitly more stressed with work and caring for me and my sisters than she should be and I just dont know how to help.

I am dreading uni and being away from her but dont know to deal with all of this. Her MS has affected more more than I realised. I love and care for her so much and the idea of losing her or her being in pain is always in the back of my mind. I understand the facts and figures and that MS is not fatal but it is also the constant possibility of her losing her speech or vision or ability to walk that scares me.

I just need some reassurance and support or advice. I dont want to add to her stress but showing her how much I worry but it feels so overwhelming at the moment. I just want to be with her all the time and spending any time away from her kills me.


I’m 36 now, but my mum was diagnosed with MS when I was at university, and it was terrifying. My dad is the main carer, so it must be even more worrying if your mum is single. It sounds like you are doing a lot to support your mum. Though you don’t want to worry her, the best thing is to be honest and share your fears with her. Have a good talk together, maybe while doing something nice. The best way is to talk about how you and your family can support each other, and any changes to make things easier. Keeping things inside will just cause you anxiety, and this will make things worse.

There will be support for young carers in your area. This is sometimes done by charities, but they can really make a difference. Maybe see what you can find? If you speak to your GP and ask for a carers assessment, you might be able to get further help. Similarly, there might be support at your college or school.