funny dictionary

Afternoon gang!

Like many of you, I get words mudddled. It can be amusing. So I thought Id list a few and ask if youd like to add your`s.

My words are now part of our household`s everyday language.

  1. cucumber…means computer

  2. filipinos…finger ends (phalanges, if i`ve spelt it right)

  3. fillies…slippers

  4. jellies…silicone heel protectors

  5. fum lumps…thumb joints

  6. steamer…dehumidifier

  7. freezer…conservatory

  8. shunkun…cushion

  9. chuffnuts…bothersome person.

  10. your turn!.

luv Pollx.

Hi Poll,

I don’t think I do any of these - not yet, anyway. Although I see not all of yours are “slips”, but some of them intentional nicknames (I like “Chuffnuts”).

I do have pet names for certain things. TV remote control, or remote control of anything, has for years been: “The bazzazzer”. I think my brother first christened it this, years ago, when TV-remotes were new out.

Several times in the past few days, I couldn’t remember “hyacinth”. I only needed the word at all because I’m growing one, but every time I try to remember what it’s called, I have to go through a complete list of flower names, usually homing in on: “Chrysanthemum”, but still feeling that’s not right… I just had to go through the same exercise, even to tell you, and still ended up at Chrysanthemum, but then thought: “No, no, I’m sure it’s NOT a chrysanthemum; it’s a Ha…, Hi…HYACINTH!” The only connection is they’re both Greek flower names. I even Googled the Greek myth of the youth, Hyacinth, after whom the flower is named, in hopes it would help me the next time. But no, I still struggled.

My mum, who doesn’t have MS, is famous for Spoonerisms, and also for completely subconscious but often very funny puns.

I think my favourite of her Spoonerisms is “nive doze”, for “nose dive”. She didn’t even know she’d said it, and family are so used to it, they accepted it without comment!

Of the unintentional puns, all-time classics include:

“This choux [pronounced “shoe”] pastry is like old leather

On being offered a raffle-ticket for a rocking-horse: “Who’d want to be saddled with that thing?”

Of a model railway: “I am not watching points…”

I can’t remember any of the others right now, but there have been countless ones over the years. She’s usually unaware she’s said them, until everyone starts looking at each other and giggling. Then she asks: “What? Have I said something? What did I say?”



hiya poll

but its got worse since then! folk close to me are aware its confusing to have a convo with me! but also funny!

ellie xxx

Hiya Poll,

I get words mixed up, like when doggie sitting - ‘shall I put the stick on the dog’ instead of lead to P

I said the other day: ‘shall I put milk in the carrots’ instead of butter which I had in my hand.

Strangest is when we are out and about and I mention ‘trees have oranges on them’ instead of orange leaves?

I know what I want to say, it just all comes out wrong, but is funny most of the time if anyone can work out what I am trying to say.



chineapple punks !!!

omg I’ve just been pmsfl cus I do this all the time lol but never really thought anything of it lol just the other week at work I said to my colleague “I’ve written my name on the elephant” I’d actually written my name on an envelope lol bit hard to keep an elephant in a school office lol Lou :smiley: x

I had a horrible experience of wrong word used this week. I said to my GP/boss that ‘I would like an intimate chat with you when you have a moment’. I meant confidential. Of course when I tried to say it properly I couldn’t remember the word confidential. Sods law eh? I’m sure he will give me a wide berth from now on!


so it’s not just me then?

boo x