some funnies

Hi All. hope you get some laughter from these. cheers fluffly xxx

I went to a Stars Wars themed gym yesterday and was struggling to lift the 5 kilo dumbbells.
“Use the fours” said the guy next to me.

This morning I saw some British man in Gaza wearing a t-shirt saying, ‘Israelis and Palestinians are both evil’. That’s borderline racist.

Gluing myself to a treadmill has again been voted most stupid act ever. That’s 6 years running now.

Let’s all reflect for a moment on the inventor of the mirror. I’ve just received an email confirming my prosthetic limb order. Attachment to follow.

I went to the doctor with an echo in my ears. He gave me a repeat prescription.

A man goes to the vet and says, “Help, my birds are stuck together!”. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” replies the vet, “it’s toucan fusing…”

Never employ someone who’s obsessed with graphs. They’ll always be plotting behind your


The first rule of African Tribe Fight Club is: You do not make a song and dance about it

Don’t argue with a florist over whether to use roses or tulips etc in a bouquet. They are usually friendly people, but aren’t afraid of resorting to violets

Can’t believe my girlfriend left me for a bungee instructor. She’ll be back.

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Haha, brill x

Well fluff, I had good giggle at the easy ones. Husband had to explain a couple…don’t think my brain is working very well today

cool to hear these went down well. some i needed to explain to others as well blossom, so don’t feel bad! take care all of you x