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Friends needed

Hi I’m a 52 year old female recently separated from my husband after 29 years, he has found a younger model who can walk, run and do things that I can’t anymore, I’m feeling very low and sad struggling, to carry on each day, we just recently moved into a new house which he bought as our forever home last year but hes left me on my own with nothing but memories, I have one son who’s 28 and a policeman so he’s getting on with his life I wonder if you could help me make some friends please Ive had secondary progessive ms for 20 years Thankyou Jan xx

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Hello Jan

You could look for MS groups and services in your local area by hitting the ‘Get involved’ tab at the top of this page. Go down the page and near the bottom is a box labelled ‘Find support near you’. Put your postcode in there and you’ll get a list of groups and services.

Or, if you are mobile, see if there’s a book club near to you, assuming that’s interesting to you. Or see what classes are happening locally in the University of the Third Age (U3A). They do a lot of interesting courses; they may call themselves a University, but it’s not all for super brains. See https://www.u3a.org.uk/ If you wanted to do some kind of educational course, you could see what’s happening in adult education at a local college.

Or how about us? Have a look around the forum and see if there’s anything you could help someone newly diagnosed (for eg) with.

Best of luck.

Sue

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Sorry to hear your loss. Anyhoo, having gone thru divorce etc some years back, I’ll give some advice. You have a good home, Rejoice! thats one thing you don’t need to worry about. And obviously kids who love you even if they aren’t around atm. Memories, yeah but some good ones I bet? Don’t dwell too much on the past, on the what ifs and what you have lost. Deep breath. What have you got now? What do YOU want to do? Took me a while, I’d been a wife, a mom for so long, to think what do i want, what can I do - that took some answering. If you feel able take on some voluntary work good way to meet ppl and get out of the house. Also get sorted financially. Not being gloomy here, but I sorted my will and everything. check whats in his name - or both - you’d don’t want to get caught out. Maybe son can help with that?

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Hi Jan I know the feeling! I’m a 65 year old male and after some 30 years of marriage became struggling with primary progressive MS and was not very subtly forced to leave home.

After years of being subjected to mental abuse I finally took the hint and left before it became physical abuse. My brother finally came and rescued me and I left with a flat bank account and only a few clothes including the ones I was wearing!

I realise now that my wife had found someone else previously and didn’t want to be stuck with someone with a disability. That was over two years ago, but life does move on.

Since then I’ve put a new home together from scratch, have a lovely cat called ‘Pilchard’ for company and feel good about myself again. I’ve taken the fight to MS and found a way to overcome each symptom as it appears. You can’t cure it but you can manage it!

Jan you will feel lonely for a while but it will pass with time.

Keep busy and take the opportunity to accomplish anything you are capable of doing which you’ve always wanted to do but could never find the time for.

Drop me a post whenever you want and I’ll keep you in company for a while. We can exchange horror stories!

God bless,

Neil XXX

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